The Bum’s Rush #23

What The Hell Are They Thinking?

“… I still want to do books that will attract the casual reader. A casual audience whose only contact with Batman and Superman might not be from the comics but from the movies, TV or cartoons. There are certain conceits in Batman and Robin that stay true in every incarnation of those characters. These books are created to literally reach the widest audience possible, and not just the comic book audience, but anyone who has ever wanted to read or see anything about Superman or Batman.”

      -  Dan Didio talking about DC’s new All-Star comics line in an interview with Rik Offenberger

If what Mr. Didio says in the above quote is true then things have already gone horribly awry for the new
All-Star line of comics. The new comics line is intended to be a continuity free introduction to the world’s most famous comic book characters, written and drawn by the biggest names in the industry and aimed directly at a mass audience of, as Mr. Didio said, casual readers. People who either haven’t picked up a comic in years or may never have picked up a comic in their lives but still have a passing knowledge of the likes of Batman and Superman. 

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Why then, when reading the first two issues of the excessively long-titled All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder, does the experience feel entirely limiting? This book reads less like an accessible-to-all-audiences title and more like Frank Miller’s skewed little corner of an already overcrowded and overworked family of titles. This is hardly a reintroduction to timeless characters. It’s more like bastardization. Reader’s with only passing knowledge of characters like Batman and Robin are more likely going to be scratching their heads and wondering what the hell happened to the Batman they’d heard about or seen in various incarnations in movies and television. At the very least they’re going to come away thinking, “Jesus, Batman’s a dickhead … and I think he’s going to molest that little boy.”

Before you jump to conclusions, understand that I am not an insanely loyal Batman reader who feels as though his favorite character has been somehow wronged. Far from it. As I’ve probably said before, either in this column or elsewhere on this site, I am not a follower of characters. I am a follower of creators. Comic characters themselves are significantly less important to me than the writers and artists that tell their tales. That being said, there is a part of me that wonders just exactly who this character is they’re trying to pass off as the Dark Knight. I’m not contradicting myself here but simply observing that the Batman in the All-Star title is so far removed from any incarnation of the character that has ever come before that George Clooney seems not all that bad in the cape and cowl after all.

Even ignoring the distorted characterization, the flying Batmobile (which, come on, that was just dumb), the abusive overtones and the ramped up and over the top sexuality (which seems somehow inappropriate for a book intended for all audiences) there is the question of Miller’s own writing style. In this book he appears more of a parody of himself than anything else which, as I’ll mention in a moment, could be intentional. The noir style is cheesier than it is believable. And characters repeating themselves ad nauseum is annoying to the point of frustration.

But I think people are going to continue to laud the current work of Frank Miller as high art much in the same way people sang the praises of George Lucas as he clumsily bumbled his way through the three atrocious Star Wars prequels. It is no longer about whether these people continue to produce good work, but merely the fact that they have produced good work in the past and have become such incredible forces of nature in the creative world that to speak ill of them is nigh on to blasphemy. At this point Miller is merely trading on his good name and not on the talent that made that name so widely known. And I think he knows it too. He will happily crank out any old weird crap that happens to spill out onto his typewriter (or whatever) as long as DC Comics continues to pay him huge wodges of cash to do so. And why not? He’s done it before on The Dark Knight Strikes Back, a book that was less about telling an important or meaningful story and more about getting paid a million dollars (not an exaggeration) to do an unnecessary sequel to a classic comic.

There was one review I read for the second issue of All-Star Batman and Robin in which the reviewer postulates that Miller is attempting to parody what DC has done with Batman since Miller’s defining Dark Knight Returns. If this is the case then aren’t both DC and the reader being duped to a certain extent? And if so, don’t we have a right to feel just a little insulted? If DC is being duped then it's their fault for allowing it to continue. I cannot believe that there are not at least a few people in the company that have said, “Hang on a second, this really sucks.” The reader however has a simpler choice. Just don’t read the book. At least that’s what I’ve decided to do.

If any of this seems harsh I’m sorry but to see such work lauded as genius, when I could barely force myself through the second issue without laughing out loud at the absurdity of it, is something that really pisses me off. It was a painful read and one that I only managed to finish simply to see how much worse it could get. On the art end, Jim Lee’s beautifully rendered pages certainly made swallowing such a bitter little pill at least somewhat less painful. Even so, Lee’s mere presence on this book makes me question his motives. Is it for love or money? Perhaps we’ll never know.

Listen, if you’ve never read a Batman book in your life then Miller is certainly the way to go, but All-Star Batman and Robin most definitely is not. Instead pick up a copy of Miller and David Mazzucchelli’s fantastic Batman: Year One or Miller’s most famous work, The Dark Knight Returns. These books show Miller and the character of Batman at their absolute peak, not their tragic low.

Let’s just all pray to Jesus that All-Star Superman will not suffer from the same dreadful quality that has crippled its sister book. At least I can say with some confidence that Grant Morrison is far from hitting his own peak. He has an obvious love for the classic icons while also having the courage and talent to take those same characters in new, interesting and exciting directions. And after seeing a preview of All-Star Superman recently I’m far less concerned about Supes cornering Jimmy Olsen in the Daily Planet supply closet for a quick game of grab-ass. But if All-Star Batman and Robin ever make it back to the Batcave … well, I fear for that boy’s safety.

Quick Bits

• Continuing my streak of BEING RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING (yeah, except that Adam Hughes Wonder Woman thing … SHUT UP!) the news is that Pascal Ferry has indeed signed with Marvel! He’s been confirmed as the artist for the second Ultimate Iron Man mini-series. “Oh, Paul?” Yes? “You said there’d be an ‘X’ in the title of Ferry’s next project. You’re wrong again.” Oh yeah? Ferry will also be working on a two-issue Ultimate Fantastic Four/X-Men crossover. Ah-boo … ah-yah.
• Marvel’s current event book House of M isn’t even over yet and they’re already talking about their next big summer crossover, Planet Hulk. I swear someone needs to put that company on Ritalin.
• Lost rocked! Invasion, however, did not.
• Neil Gaiman’s going to be working on something Eternals related for Marvel.
• Whedon and Cassaday will be back on Astonishing X-Men come February of ’06.
• Marvel Comics Solicitations for December are right here. First time in a while I’ve looked at Marvel Solicitations and felt excited about a bunch of the books.
• They’re collecting Nova into an Essential’s book!! I love Nova! I’ve loved Nova since I first read New Warriors. And then Erik Larsen’s short-lived Nova ongoing series a few years ago. Yay Essential Nova!!!!
• The next batch of What If …? specials from Marvel look pretty interesting. Except for that What If The Fantastic Four Were Cosmonauts? Did they get a 12-year old to draw that book? I can’t tell if they’re going for that look on purpose … or what. I’ve seen Marshall Rogers art before and it never looked that bad.
• Smallville and Alias premiere this week! God, I hope Smallville is better this season than last.
• Almost 100 consecutive issues and Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley are still churning out a great book in Ultimate Spiderman. Except for that whole Wolverine “We can’t believe we’re actually doing this LMAOOMG!” story. That sucked.
• THE GLX RETURN in the GLX-Mas Special!! Yippie!
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• Surely the ending to House of M is no longer that big a secret. No, don’t worry I’m not going to ruin it for you. Just seems odd that the ending to such a big book wouldn’t be played a little closer to the vest. Meh.

NEXT WEEK:  Livejournal is full of amazingly talented artists. I think I shall have to introduce you to some of them. 50% less bitching in the next column, I promise.

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