The Bum's Rush #29

Wiz World ’05 – Recap!

Man, what a crazy, crazy weekend! I can’t say we did as well as we were hoping to but we got the book into a lot of people’s hands and got a lot of attention, which is what we were looking for. To be honest our expectations were probably a bit high, but it’s all a learning experience right? And we learned a lot. Like if a stranger with a net hands you gum DO NOT put that gum in your mouth. No matter how hot said stranger with net is.

Friday –

Woke up ridiculously early after less than two hours of sleep (YAY!)

Brush teeth, shower, put pants on backwards.

Go downstairs to find Kevin and Dana all ready to go. They shake their heads. In my brain I curse them. Curse fails to work.

Load up car and drive to convention. I’m pretty nervous.

Complain about having to pay $5 bucks to park. Don’t these people know who we are?

Carry stuff into the convention area, geek out a little in my head because I feel like we’re backstage watching as everything is being set up.

Find our table and begin setting up. Quickly realize that 8-feet of table space is much smaller than you’d think. Somehow we manage to fit everything on the table. Dave arrives and helps with set up.

An hour to go before the convention doors open and we’re already set. I think about the sleep I could have gotten then realize that another hour wouldn’t have made me any less cranky.

Dave and I take a stroll around Artist Alley. He’s drawn a little picture of himself from his Cultural Void comic strip and put it on his hat. He’s instantly recognized by more that a few people. We meet several cool people that Dave knows of from online, like Barry Rodgers and David DeGrand from Big Beard Comics (their books are amazing looking), Mitch Clem of Nothing Nice To Say and Zach Miller of Joe and Monkey. One of the best things about the show was meeting so many friendly and super-talented people.

At some point I figure out that we are sitting directly behind Green Lantern and upcoming Superman/Batman artist Ethan Van Sciver. I proceed to geek out about this. The other guys stare blankly when I mention his name.

The show finally opens and people slowly start coming through Artist Alley. Some look at us and smile politely, others avoid our sad puppy-dog faces and the rest shoot us looks of disdain. I wonder for a second if we accidentally put up a sign that says F*** OFF, instead of the more family friendly Stumblebum Studios sign.

Check the table for magnets … there must be some reason that people seem to curve away from our booth as they approach.

After an hour the guy in the booth next to us closes up shop, never to return.

After reading Twisted Toyfare Theatre Vol. 6 (on sale now!) for a little while, followed by trying not to fall asleep in my chair, I decide to walk around the main showroom. It’s almost as dead in there as it is in Artist Alley. I do meet one of the guys from Blank Label Comics and mention that I took part in their Webcomic Hurricane Relief Telethon. He shows me the Webcomic Hurricane Relief Telethon Book, which I haven’t had a chance to purchase yet, so I run out to the ATM to get some cash for the book.

Discover that my funds are running dangerously low. Wish for a hole in the ground to swallow me. Hole fails to appear. Drag myself back to the Blank Label booth and purchase the book. My spirits are lifted somewhat upon seeing my strip inside.

Two hot girls carrying nets approach us. They ask us how we are doing and as soon as we reply they launch into an obviously rehearsed and ultimately hollow spiel about the product they are pimpin’, Mad Croc Energy Gum. I try not to laugh as I watch this horrific event unfold before me. I take some of the gum and, after exchanging nervous glances with the rest of the guys; I put a piece in my mouth. I am tired and this stuff is supposed to have as much energy boosting capacity as a Red Bull. It’s not too bad, it’s actually kind of … ew … oh GOD! Suddenly I feel as if I’m chewing on the Devil’s ass. This gum has become one of the vilest, most awful tasting things I have ever or will ever put in my mouth. It’s so bad I spit it out and yell, “Oh, God! Quick, somebody SH** in my mouth to get the taste out!!” Everyone within earshot of this remark hears me and turns, some understanding my plight; others confused having not tasted the Hitler of gum. Ethan Van Sciver asks, as we all laugh our butts off, if we are okay. I think he means, “Are you guys insane?”

The entire Mad Croc incident becomes a Cultural Void strip.

The “SH** in my mouth” line is repeated ad nauseaum throughout the rest of the show, usually by me.

The rest of the day passes without much of anything happening. The consensus on the floor is that Friday was bound to be slow and things should pick up Saturday. I hope so.

As we are packing up I notice that Rob Liefeld has come over to talk to Van Sciver. I don’t really hear most of the conversation except something about artist Georges Jeanty. I turn to look at Liefeld who looks straight back at me and whispers something like “He’s not sitting behind you is he?” For a second I wonder what would happen if I said I was Georges Jeanty and made a big scene. But since Jeanty is black and I am so very white I figure my ruse would quickly be exposed.

As we leave Dave asks whom the guy talking to Sciver was. I tell him that it's Rob Liefeld. Dave says he was laughing way too hard at his own jokes and being pretty obnoxious. We both agree that he’s an ass.

We head home and decide to grab some food at McDonalds. When I ask for the Chicken Selects meal the guy repeats, “Chicken Selects?” The ordering process goes downhill from there. End up eating at Jack In The Box.

Sleep comes almost instantly.

Saturday –

Wake, wash, dress and go downstairs to discover Dana and Kevin waiting impatiently … again. Curse fails to work … again. This time I don’t care because I got much more sleep.

After stopping for coffee and cigarettes (breakfast of champions) we pull up to the parking lot ready to pay the $5 bucks again. But this time, with our badges in plain view, we are waved through without having to pay. I feel like a movie star.

We take the stuff inside and head for Artist Alley, but on the way we run into Raven Gregory, writer of the hit Image Comics series, The Gift. I stop and say hi and give him a copy of our books. Nice guy.

Dave is already waiting for us at the table, finishing up a new Cultural Void strip. He brought donuts. Dave is instantly revered as a God and promoted to King of Stumblebum Studios. We share the donuts with the other guests like Barry, Dave and the insanely talented comic artist, John Lucas, who praises us.

Donuts gone. Dave stripped of crown.

Show opens.

To help move more copies of the book we develop a routine, lower the price of the book by a buck and offer free sketches to anyone who buys a copy. Dave lets me use one of his brush pens for my sketches. It’s one of the best artistic tools I’ve ever used and instantly makes me feel like a better artist. Now my drawings are only semi-crappy.

Dave decides to do a jam comic with the Big Beard guys. He draws the first panel, Barry and David do the next two panels and then the comic is handed to me to finish. Looking at the first three amazing panels makes me panic. I’m supposed to finish this thing?

Dana gives me a good idea how to finish it. I think I’ve come up with something better, but when I finish I realize that it’s exactly like Dana’s suggestion. Take full credit for the idea anyway.

Kevin befriends one of the volunteer workers who is a huge Daredevil fan. He does a kickin’ Daredevil art card for her. We all decide to get in on the act, even Dana (whose Daredevil looks like Ziggy to me.) Dave’s is my favorite, especially the butt-flap he adds to the costume (labeled, appropriately, “butt flap”).

Josh (he of the Music Reviews) shows up. Now the party can really start.

Josh tries some of the Mad Croc, thinking that it can’t possibly be as bad as we say it is. We beg and plead with him, but it’s too late. He chews on it for a minute and tells us that we’re overreacting. I tell him to wait. The longer you chew it the worse it gets. He laughs, but then something happens, his face contorts. It’s like watching John Hurt hatching an alien.

I see Raven Gregory again who gives me a signed copy of the first issue of The Gift.

Some kid comes up to our booth and asks if Kevin is doing free sketches. Dave and I tell him no but we could do a free sketch for him. He looks at us like we just told him we’d vomit on him, says, “Uh, no thanks,” and walks away. Dave and I are shocked. Dave gets another Cultural Void strip out of it.

Josh takes a picture of me with a guy wearing the most amazing Halo costume I have ever seen.

Walk around the main convention floor a bit with Dana. We happen upon a booth where a trailer for a short Punisher/Wolverine fan film, First Round, is playing. The trailer is amazing. We strike up a conversation with the film’s director and star, Corey Sosner, who is a really cool guy. We mention that we have a website where we review comics and movies. He gives us a free, signed copy of the DVD. Dana and I are blown away. It’s all we can talk about for the next half hour.

Dave’s wonderful wife Melissa shows up with her nephew. I tell her, the nephew and Josh that they have to come see the trailer for First Round. But first Josh wants to give a copy of the Anthology to Margot Kidder and get a picture of her with it. She’ll take the picture but first Josh must buy something for $20. He declines, but gives her the book anyway, which she accepts and casually tosses aside. Josh speculates that, judging by her reaction, she will likely use it for toilet paper later.

We get back to the First Round booth and watch the trailer again. I give Corey some signed copies of our books.

On the way back I see a guy I used to work with who went crazy after he was fired and came to my apartment, pounding on my door and cursing my family. I decide not to say hello.

Dana is beginning to show signs of fatigue. As he puts it, smiling and giving the same spiel about the books over and over again for 8 hours is harder work than you’d think. He is a trooper though and manages to get the book into the hands of a lot of people.

Dave, Josh and Melissa are planning to head over to J. Gilligan’s where several of the con attendees are gathering. Dana, Kevin and I decline the invitation to join, as we are all beat.

Pack up, head home, eat and sleep. The good news is we don’t have to be at the show until 10 a.m.

Sunday –

On the final day of the show I am actually ready before Dana who was probably the most exhausted of us all on Saturday.

We drag our sorry butts to the convention with little talking. Our bodies and spirits are week at this point and we’re just looking forward to the show being done … this will change.

Coffee, cigarettes and setup. Dave isn’t waiting for us when we arrive this time. I’ve forgotten my phone so we can’t call him. Just hope he didn’t get too drunk and end up in another country … again.

When we come back with the second load of stuff for the table Dave is there talking to Dana. He tells us how great J. Gilligan’s was which makes us all wish we had gone. He also informs us that he is still drunk.

No donuts today. Things are not off to a great start.

Dave starts a drawing and so do I. Coincidentally we are both drawing each other. Dave has written “Stumblebum Studios Trading Cards” at the top of his picture of me. I do the same on my picture of him and we decide to do a whole set.

The books are moving pretty well today. We’ve decided to do the “hard sell” actually handing the books to people as they approach. It works pretty well. So we’ve got a pretty good routine going on selling the books and people are digging the free sketches. Too bad we didn’t work it out until the last day.

Someone buys two books and requests a samurai sketch from both Dave and me. We take it as a challenge and try to outdo each other, all the while hurling verbal jabs back and forth. I think Dave’s is amazing. He thinks mine is. I’m starting to have a lot of fun today.

The books are selling pretty well, I’m having fun drawing, Dave goes and gets some Bueno for us. Our spirits are lifted and I’m starting to wish the convention would never end.

We discover that Dave is now regularly chewing the Mad Croc gum. He has obviously gone insane.

OMG! It’s Summer Glau (River Tam of Firefly and Serenity fame)! She’s walking around the Artist Alley area and approaches our booth. She is so beautiful in person. I hand her a copy of the book. She asks us if we’ll all sign it for her. Wow! Sunday is officially my favorite day!

Rebecca and Ethan from Titan Comics show up.

I give a copy of our books to writer Peter David who actually recognizes the book, telling me that someone was showing it to him earlier. He loves the name Stumblebum. At this point I could die a happy man.

Someone buys a few copies of the book and asks Dave and me to do pinups in one of his humongous theme sketchbooks. He has an Endless theme book, a Captain America theme book, a Spiderman theme book and an Off-Color (aka Dirty) theme book. When I look through the Spiderman book I realize I’ve met this guy before and did a sketch of my character, Der Wundervolle Bean, as Spiderman. It was one of the first pictures I ever drew of the character. Finally I decide to do a sketch in his Off-Color book, which embarrasses me to no end. I actually feel myself turning red. I’ve never really drawn a “dirty” picture before. Uh, not counting drawing naked girls when I was in middle school. Maybe Rebecca standing over my shoulder isn’t helping. After an uncomfortable discussion about cousins having sex and vagina’s in the back of someone’s knee and with a little help from Dave I decide what to draw … “Bruce Banner’s Second Gamma Experiment.” Let’s just say it involves “little Hulk.” The guy’s girlfriend has a Harry Potter sketchbook so I end up doing a pinup of Draco Malfoy. Man, I wish I could keep some of this art.

The show is wrapping up so I decide to take a bunch of the books and hand them out to other attendees I’ve met. We get a lot of compliments. Steve McNiven (artist on New Avengers) says he loves the cover.

We pack up feeling pretty good about how the show went.

Then we all died.

The End.

-

So the show was pretty successful. I’m sure I’ve left some stuff out, I didn’t really take notes or anything and this is all pretty much from memory. Like it needs to be longer right?

I just want to thank everyone who helped out. Rebecca, Ethan, Dave and Melissa for showing up Thursday night to help us put the Anthology together. All the guys at Stumblebum for contributing to the Anthology, a book I am truly proud of. My friends who came to the show and hung out and supported us. All of you who have been with us since the beginning and have made Stumblebum a regular stop, you guys kept us going. My parents and my sister for believing in me and supporting me no matter what. And a big thanks to everyone who we met at the show! I hope you’re here reading this now.

I can’t wait for the next show.

Quick Bits

1. I’m sure everyone has seen the pic of Thomas Haden Church as Sandman but here it is again. Wheeee! Friggin’ awesome. Click on image to view full size in a new window
2. Khari Evans artwork for Marvel’s Daughter’s of the Dragon series, written by Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, looks so beautiful. Click on image to view full size in a new window
3. They’re releasing the Superman Returns trailer with all prints of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. So even if I weren’t a big Harry Potter fan I’d be all over that movie opening day. Why? Aren’t you paying attention? I’m a neeeerrrrd!
4. Mike Deodato’s going to be drawing an arc of New Avengers. The guy draws pretty pictures and all, but I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of his sequential stuff. We’ll see.
5. Marvel is doing an Apocalypse vs. Dracula comic. Um … what?
6. Peter David’s going to be working on a five-issue Wonder Man comic book. Huh, crazy. Still I’ve been on a big Peter David kick recently so I’ll check it out. The man just plain writes good comics.
7. Warren Ellis and Ben Templesmith’s Fell from Image Comics is great stuff and it’s a steal at just a buck ninety-nine.
8. Speaking of Warren Ellis, he’s supposed to be working on some kind of “barbarian” book (ala Conan) for Avatar. Thing is I can’t picture it, I just keep seeing everyone talking in that ultra-hip, too-cool-for-you dialogue that Ellis is known for and that just doesn’t seem to fit with hacking and slashing and berserker rage and all that jazz.

NEXT WEEK: Uh…?


Send me hate mail at thesuperleezard@yahoo.com

Read more stupid crap I write at www.livejournal.com/users/superleezard

Check out my (semi) daily comic, Der Wundervolle Bean, at www.livejournal.com/users/der_magic_bean

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