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The Bum's Rush by Paul Milligan


The Bum’s Rush #48

And Sometimes I Write Comics

Did you know I write comics? You did? WHO TOLD YOU!? I’LL KILL ‘EM… I’LL… oh, it was me? Well that’s all right then. So yes, I write comics. Correction – sometimes I write comics. I mean, it’s been my fondest dream since I was just a wee lad. Even in high school, when I thought that I wanted to be a comic artist, what I really wanted was to write comics. It should have been obvious to me back then. I was always filling notebooks full of ideas, new characters and stories when I might have better spent my time studying for a math test I probably failed or paying attention in American History. Whatever. Who needs to read a book to know that Columbo discovered America in 1826 while on the run from the Chinese mafia? But the god’s honest truth is that I’ve probably spent more time writing about wanting to write comics than actually writing them.

About the time Aaron Hall and I were cooking up our latest batch of drugs in a homemade meth lab the idea for Stumblebum Studios, I had also started my own blog and was writing pretty regularly, churning out short stories, comic scripts and rants about Oprah. But as I began to get more heavily involved in the development of this website, as well as producing a semi-daily webcomic called Der Wundervolle Bean, I found it increasingly difficult to focus on writing stories and scripts. At this point I almost feel as if I am at a complete standstill where my fictional writing endeavors are concerned. I could say that it was a lack of time or perhaps a lack of energy. Maybe it was German midgets, sapping me of my will to create. Who knows? Truthfully, I think it’s just plain laziness. But that German midget thing is something to think about.

See, I’m still getting used to actually being productive all the time. For the first 24 useless years of my life I accomplished very little. Granted, from the age of 2 – 12 one is not exactly expected to be out changing the world, or even producing publishable comic books. What about 13 – 18? Well, you may not know it, but teenager actually comes from the Greek word teenakos, which means, "one who is lazy, hateful, selfish and is generally pimply faced, damn kids”. But by 19 or 20 you’d think I ought to be getting something done. Blame it on my depression (which I’ve since conquered), German midgets, laziness, what have you. At least I’m finally being proactive, helping design, manage and contribute to this website, doing a regular comic strip (at least 4 times a week), attending comic conventions (as a guest no less!), all the while working a full time job and doing freelance design projects on the side. I think what I’ve accomplished over the last few years is something to be proud of. But I’m still not doing everything I can.

I have to keep pushing myself. I have to make myself more productive. I have to get used to being busy all the time and staying that way. I can’t let myself feel too content, can’t rest on my laurels too long, not if I want to get to the next level! With that in mind I am, as per usual, approaching the challenge in completely the wrong way. I’m piling tons of projects onto my plate, assigning different levels of importance to absolutely none of them. But don’t cry for me. I realized this week that I am slowly, but surely, learning how to cope with juggling multiple projects at one time. If I didn’t know me better, and I like to think I know me pretty well, I’d think an alien might have replaced me.
Anyway, enough of that boring crap. I know what you all came here for. To learn how to make a bomb using everyday household items. No? Oh, you actually want to hear about some of these marvelous and mind-blowing projects I’m working on, do you? Of course you do. How silly of me. Well, just look here… and be amazed!

Twilight: High Moon

It’s a western… with werewolves. That’s how I usually describe it to anyone foolish enough to ask. You’ve never heard of such a strange and bizarre mix of genre’s have you!? You… you have? They’re doing them all over the place? Yeah, yeah. This concept may seem somewhat overdone, considering the multitude of western comics with a horror bent that seem to have cropped up over the last few years. But believe me when I tell you, when we first developed this idea there was nothing else like it on the shelves. And looking at the story we came up with, which involves a pair of rough and tough monster hunters hired to track and kill a pack of werewolves that are terrorizing a small town in Texas, I still think it stands out a bit.

Twilight is the first comic I ever wrote. Not the first one I ever created, but the first one I actually took the time to develop and actually complete. My co-writer, the aforementioned Aaron Hall, and I spent months cooking up the plot for this book and went almost completely mad in the process. Okay… not almost. We went completely mad. But things are cool now. The doctors said so.

Writing the actual scripts for the five-issue mini-series was surprisingly painless, probably due to the exhaustive amount of plotting we did beforehand. Almost every facet of the story had been talked about and discussed and hammered out before we ever started scripting the first issue. We took turns writing the scripts themselves. Aaron would write one script and then pass it off to me. I would then write a second draft based on Aaron’s script and pass it back to him. This continued until we were both pleased. Or until one of us threatened the other with bodily harm. Whichever came first.

I think the most fun I ever had writing anything was when Aaron and his buddy Chris (the most powerful man alive!) came over to my apartment and we wrote the final script together. Aaron sat at my computer, typing the actual words, while I paced back and forth smoking cigarette after cigarette and frantically acting out what a fight between a cowboy and a werewolf might look like. Chris stared on in amazement… and horror, occasionally giving his opinion on a particular piece of dialogue or action. The creative give and take was a thrill. The whole thing was a blast and the most perfect way I could imagine to finish writing what will probably be one of the most collaborative stories of my life.

Since then there have been tremendous spurts of activity on the book, followed by prolonged periods of f***-all getting done. Progress on the book has never quite been at a standstill but it’s never moved quite as fast as I’d prefer either. Our creative team has gone through numerous changes. We’ve switched artists at least once. We’ve gained and lost inkers and letterers. But we keep pushing forward, getting a little bit more done all the time. At least I can say that there is constantly forward progress on the book. Our current artist, the irreplaceable (so far) Kevin Steele, is pretty much the perfect artist for the book. Not necessarily the fastest, but he’s certainly the best artist you might never have heard of before. He’s just wrapped up penciling and inking the first issue of the book and let me tell you sir (or madam) it looks spectacular!

Since the inception of this little book there has been so much blood, sweat and tears put into the making of it. It’s a book that is done purely for the love of doing it. When it finally hits shelves (which it will, make no mistake about it) I think that love will show. I guarantee (not a guarantee) that it’ll be the coolest story about cowboys fighting werewolves in a small Texas town you ever read in your life! Or at the very least, it will entertain you and hopefully bring a smile to your cute little face.

An interesting side note – the book’s subtitle, High Moon, was suggested by PVP creator Scott Kurtz and inker extraordinaire Jaime Mendoza. As it was told to me, Kevin was out drinking with these guys one night when he mentioned our book and what it was about. Scott and Jaime jokingly suggested that High Moon (get it?) was a far superior title to Twilight. Then Kevin mumbled something about police and a dead vagrant or something. I don’t really know because I was too busy pondering the wisdom spoken by Scott and Jaime. Whether they were joking or not, High Moon was indeed an excellent title! Since Aaron and I were planning (and still are) to do more Twilight stories in the future we thought the idea of adding High Moon as a subtitle was akin to the invention of the wheel or perhaps even sliced cheese! So there you go, yet more proof that every great idea owes its existence to the miracle of inebriation. Or something.

Zombie City: Down Among the Dead Men

Zombie City exists for one simple reason. I love zombies. Zombie movies. Zombie comics. Zombie pornogr… uh… never mind. Oh, and also I needed a five-page story for the
Stumblebum Studios Anthology. Two! Zombie City exists for TWO simple reasons. But the chief reason is the love of zombies I mentioned. I created Zombie City because I wanted to see if I could do a good zombie story, plain and simple. The concept revolves around a post-zombie-apocalypse-type world where the zombies have finally been defeated, the remainder of the walking dead being pushed back and walled up inside the burnt out remnants of New York City. The only trouble with that is a number of living people were also trapped inside the city when it was walled up. Any and all attempts at rescue ended horrifically and so the survivors were abandoned, left to fend for themselves in a decaying wreck of a metropolis infested with the undead. But the forsaken citizens of Zombie City have a lone defender, a hulking man of few words and extremely violent tendencies, the only man brave (or foolish) enough to walk around Zombie City by himself, the Zombie Killer called Renzo.

The very first Zombie City story, The Way Out, was a five-page story written for, as I mentioned, the Stumblebum Studios Anthology and was beautifully illustrated by a homeless man for ten bucks my good buddy, Dave Sherrill. It wasn’t until after I had written The Way Out that I realized I wanted to do even more stories with Renzo and Zombie City. Thus, I began plotting out a three-issue mini-series called Down Among the Dead Men. In this story a group of elite and highly-trained mercenaries are paid to help a former New York City resident find his family, who were trapped inside when the walls around Zombie City went up. Needless to say, things go horribly awry and it isn’t long before Renzo shows up to save the day.

This story is going to be wall-to-wall action, horror, explosions and zombies and I can’t wait to start writing it! I’ve got the basic plot sorted in my head, but there’s some research to do (zombie research!) and details that need to be fleshed out. Hopefully I can start writing this one soon before Dave gets too busy or too famous to draw it. Cause I’d hate to have to do something horrible to him. Oops, I mean… I’d hate to have to find another artist.

It’s worth mentioning that recently Dana completely cleaned the floor with my creative ass when he told me about a zombie story that came to him in a dream. In a dream!! I won’t go into the details of his story but let’s just say that his idea kicks the crap out of Zombie City. I am extremely jealous that he was able to come up with such a cool and unique take on the zombie genre. Oh, how I hate him. But I wish him the best of luck with his idea. Not to self: kill Dana and steal his zombie idea.

Gun Slave

This is one of those stories where the title actually came before the story itself. I just thought Gun Slave sounded cool. Doesn’t it? Yer damn right! The story evolved from there and pretty soon I found myself plotting out a sprawling, epic sci-fi adventure tale involving a genetically engineered bodyguard (a gun slave… hey, that’s the title!) who rejects his programming and goes on the run. Based on a true story. Nah, it’s not really. But some of it is based on my years as a gunrunner in Africa. Or is it? What was I talking about? Oh yeah.

Well, there’s much more to the story than that one sentence lets on. Gun Slave is actually pretty complex, featuring a terrible conspiracy, corrupt governments and insurgents, with the whole galaxy as a backdrop and lots of killer robots, hi-tech assassins, UFO’s crashing into continent-spanning cities and talking cats that are also alcoholic priests. But I’ll spare you all of the details. You’ll just have to read it when it comes out like everyone else.

The biggest challenge to this story is creating this whole new world completely from scratch. It really has no basis in reality whatsoever, being that it takes place hundreds and hundreds of years from now. So I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to imagine the technology, the language, the cultural and religious aspects of such a distant future place. At this point I have a pretty detailed back-story and an idea of where things are headed. But there are still lots and lots of holes to fill. I’ll try and keep you guys updated as things on Gun Slave progress.

I’m probably going to be looking for an artist for this book at some point. Anyone who’s interested can email.



And those are just three of the ideas that are currently wreaking havoc in my pretty little fractured psyche! I’ve actually got some pretty good ideas for two or three graphic novels that I’m plotting out at the moment. One is about vampires, which is a subject I don’t believe has ever been touched upon in comics before. Actually, it’s a heist/caper story involving vampires so that’s something. Another is about a Flash Gordon-type hero who’s pissed off a lot of people throughout the galaxy and now it’s catching up with him. And finally there’s my “military vs. aliens in space” story, which isn’t quite as contrived as it sounds. Maybe I’ll tell you more about those books soon.

Currently I’m writing a fifteen-page comic for Free Comic Book Day. I’m probably going to have to draw this one too, which is a prospect that frightens the hell outta me. I must be out of my freakin’ mind. Especially with FCBD just a little over a month away. I guess I better stop yappin’ about it and put this column to bed.

There’s comics to write!

Quick Bits

Warning! Nothing you read here in Quick Bits should be considered FACT until it actually happens. Which it might not. How do you know I’m not just making all this crap up? I could, you know. You’ve been warned!

  1. A 2-page comic that I wrote and Dave Sherrill illustrated has been accepted for publication in
    Young American Comics 2006 BIZMAR Anthology. BIZMAR stands for Bunny, Alien, Insect, Monkey, Alien, Robot, all of which must be included in your story to make it into the book. The Anthology is due out in stores this summer.
  2. Despite my predictions and threats of suicide, the writer for Action Comics is still being kept top secret. The new creative team won’t actually debut until October, giving DC plenty of time to build the suspense. But with the big con season just starting I’m sure the announcement will come sooner rather than later. Or else!
  3. Paul Jenkins is now the proud father of a baby boy, Torak the Slayer… I mean, Jack Richard Marveldotcom Jenkins. I think the Marveldotcom part is a joke… I hope. Cause I was plannin’ on using that for my kid, dammit! Jenkins has been teasing the event for a while over in his friggin’ excellent column, Flogging A Dead Horse. You should go read it… it’s almost as good as my column!
  4. Jenkins also revealed a new project called Sidekick, from Desperado Publishing. The story involves a young pizza delivery who decides to become a sidekick to four superheroes in order to cover his bills. Chris Moreno will handle the art on the series.
  5. Marvel Comics announced a whole slew of creators who have signed exclusive contracts with the publisher, including Zeb Wells, Skottie Young, Tommy Lee Edwards and Yanick Paquette.
  6. The biggest name announced as Marvel’s latest exclusive creator was J. Scott Campbell. Campbell revealed that, once he is finished working on Wildsiderz for Wildstorm, he will be working on a new Spiderman series with writer Jeph Loeb. Expect the series to hit shelves on the 13th of NEVER! God, that guy is slow! He makes Bryan Hitch look like the Flash on crank.
  7. The Ultimate Universe meets the Squadron Supreme Universe in the nine-issue Ultimate Power mini-series from Marvel in October. The series will be written by Brian Michael Bendis, who will handle the first three issues, J. Michael Straczynski, who will write the middle three and Jeph Loeb, who will write the last three issues. An artist has yet to be announced. I’m guessing it might be Michael Turner who signed a contract last year to draw a mini-series for Marvel.
  8. Marc Silvestri revealed that he will be working on an unnamed Ultimate Universe comic with Brian Michael Bendis. This project is a result of the recent deal signed between Marvel and Silvestri’s Top Cow Productions that allows Marvel to dip into Top Cow’s talent pool for their books.
  9. Marvel is teaming with Bungie Studios to produce the Halo Graphic Novel featuring the work of Moebius, Phil Hale, Ed Lee, Tsutomo Nihei, Jay Faerber, Andrew Robinson, Simon Bisley and Lee Hammock. The 128-page hardcover book is slated for release this summer.
  10. Jack Kirby’s daughter Lisa Kirby is working on a new project for Marvel called Jack Kirby’s Galactic Bounty Hunters. The series is a creator-owned book that will feature a number of characters and concepts created by Jack Kirby.
  11. The X-Men: Civil War mini-series creative team was announced as writer David Hine, new Marvel exclusive artist Yanick Paquette and cover artist Juan Doe.
  12. In an interview regarding his upcoming Midnighter ongoing series with artist Chris Sprouse, Garth Ennis revealed that he will be working on a Battler Britton series (part of the IPC/Wildstorm line) and possibly another Kev series.
  13. Robert Kirkman and Phil Hester’s new Marvel series, Ant-Man, will feature a brand new character taking on the mantle of Ant-Man. Henry Pym will play a large (hee-hee) role in the series, however.
  14. Writer Matt Fraction is working on a new Punisher: War Journal ongoing series with artist Ariel Olivetti. The series will spin out of events in Marvel’s Civil War mini-series and return the Punisher as an active participant in the Marvel Universe as he begins targeting supervillains. Garth Ennis’ excellent Punisher series, published under MAX (Marvel’s mature readers line), will continue to see the Punisher operating in his own little corner of the world, separate from the rest of the Marvel U.
  15. Paul Dini will be writing a new comic for Top Cow called Madam Mirage. No artist was named for the series.
  16. Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson are working on a new ongoing series for Wildstorm, entitled
    The Boys. The 60-issue, 5-year series will revolve around a group of government operatives who are sent in when the superheroes of the world get out of control. The series will be self-contained and not linked to any established continuity. In an interview about the series Robertson revealed that he was feeling burned out working at Marvel, being yanked from one book to another and not being able to give any one project his best effort. Which probably explains why the art on
    Fury: Peacemaker sucks so badly.
  17. A new ongoing series from DC, called Tranquility, will deal wih a planned retirement community for superheroes. The series is written by Gail Simone, with art by Neil Googe.

NEXT WEEK: I went to All-Con on Saturday and it was awesome! Truly it is the party con. You can read all about the debauchery next week! Plus you’ll get to see what is quite possibly one of the nerdiest things I have ever purchased. And I bought ALL of the plush Super-Pets!


Send me hate mail at thesuperleezard@yahoo.com

Read more stupid crap I write at www.livejournal.com/users/superleezard

Check out my (semi) daily comic, Der Wundervolle Bean, at www.livejournal.com/users/der_magic_bean

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