The Bum’s Rush #65

WARNING! None of the news or rumors you see here in The Bum’s Rush should be considered FACT until it actually happens. It might never happen. How do you know I’m not just making all this crap up? I could, you know. You’ve been warned!


SoonerCon 2006 Report

This past weekend Dana and I went to Oklahoma City to attend the very first SoonerCon. The show represented a couple of first for us Stumblebum fellas -

For one thing it was our very first (but hopefully not last) out-of-state show. Sure, it was only a three-hour drive from Dallas to Oklahoma City but if you know either of us then you’ll realize what an impressive feat of willpower and mobility this was. Not unlike JFK deciding to put an American on the moon.

It was also the first show that we’d ever been formally invited to, courtesy of the show’s organizer, the
lovely J.P. Jordan. Naturally I assumed at first that there had been some mistake. Obviously there was another, massively successful Stumblebum Studios out there that I was hitherto unaware of. But no, J.P. had actually meant to invite us. I was flattered, to say the least. They even put up a big announcement about our appearance at the show on their front page, which I took as a sure sign of the oncoming apocalypse. Like I said, it was completely flattering and I tried not to let all the attention go to my head. Though I have taken to introducing myself as “Stumblebum Studios’ Paul Milligan” and saying things like “Do you know who I am?” whenever I go out to eat.

And finally it was the first time we got to bust out our swanky new table setup, complete with a new banner, printed nameplates (charming though the old handwritten-on-a-folded-backing-board ones were) and display stands for our comics and flyers. Yeah, we were bringin’ our A-game. Or at the very least a slightly better looking version of our world-famous Z-game.

We left Dallas around 4:30 Saturday morning (we figured we could save money by spending only one night in Oklahoma) and arrived in Oklahoma at almost the exact time Dana had predicted we would, which disturbed both of us tremendously. We grabbed a deliciously greasy breakfast at Waffle House before heading over to the hotel, which looked more like a bowling alley on the outside than an actual hotel, where the show was being held. I hadn’t even walked through the doors into the hotel when I saw a Klingon approaching me. Any doubt I had in my mind that we were in the wrong place was quickly vanquished like an enemy at the tip of a warrior’s bat’leth. (Oooh… pretend I didn’t write that last bit.)

After some confusion as to whether we were actual guests or just a couple of bum’s off the street we secured a table and began setting up. As we were putting the finishing touches on our elaborate display (bear traps and a punji stick pit for those con attendees who didn’t stop the first time we yelled at them to pay attention to us) we noticed Tom Martin and Chris Peel had arrived. Tom and Chris are the creators of the world famous comic, Some Big Lumberjack and two of the funniest guys I have ever met.

After they set up their table next to us (a blatant attempt to steal away the multitude of Stumblebum fans who would no doubt be crowded around our table all weekend) we spent the next several hours joking back and forth and laughing like drunken fools. Which at one point later in the day we were. There were belly dancers involved. It was all quite scandalous.

In exchange for our table at the show we had been asked to sit on a few of the many panels being held during the weekend. Around three it was time for us to attend our first panel, “Comics 101”. It frightened me how utterly unprepared I felt to talk about comics when comics is pretty much the only thing I really know anything about. Luckily Dana and I were not alone on the panel as two other guests, Brad Foster and Beverly Hale, were joining us. Brad Foster is an amazing artist and all-around swell guy from Texas who has been in the self-publishing game for 25 years. He also worked at Image for a time as the background artist on Jim Valentino’s Shadowhawk . Beverly Hale is a sweet woman who has written several fantasy novels, such as The Essence of Stone, and has seen her work published in comics from Dark Horse and Caliber. For most of the panel I listened to the two of them talk about their experiences and only occasionally would I remember that I was on the panel as well, at which point I would interject some useless bit of information and everyone would stare at me blankly before going back to the real discussion. Actually it was a lot of fun and pretty informal, with most of the panel consisting of the four of us comparing experiences and discussing the nature of telling a story and publishing comics.

It was so much fun that when Chris and Tom asked us if we wanted to crash their next panel, appropriately named “Comics 201”, we happily agreed. Brad Foster was also a part of this panel, along with
Bill Fountain, a writer, artist, filmmaker and teacher from Texas whose comic book adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven is a sight to see. This panel became much more about how to make it as a self-publisher, what to do and not do and how to garner attention for yourself and your book. I didn’t contribute as much to this one as I had in the previous panel, mostly because I was running on less than two hours of sleep and was, probably quite noticeably, falling asleep in my freakin’ chair! Unfortunately for me this panel was more heavily attended that the first one. I’m sure I made a hell of an impression. Occasionally I would wake from my slumber to interject a funny (to me) one-liner that I thought might somehow relate to whatever serious piece of information one of the other panelists had just put forth. People may have laughed… I was too tired and full of Bushmills to be sure.

The rest of the day consisted of more cutting up with the Lumberjack guys coupled with the painful realization that Dana and I still need a lot of practice selling our books. We’ve certainly come a long way from the Wizard World convention last year when it seemed that people were purposefully avoiding getting within ten feet of our table in any direction. Yeah, we’ve learned how to pull them in and get them talking and we get a fair number of flyers into hands. But when it comes to selling our books we’re missing something. People were looking at Mars 1938 with great interest and a fair number complimented the art style (I thank you) but few of those people actually bought the book.

Chris informed me that what we weren’t doing was closing the deal. Sure, we could get people to pick up the book, but we had no closing statement, nothing to push them over the edge and into the sale. It was amazing to watch Chris and Tom sell their butts off, making more in the first hour of the show than we did all weekend. That’s another reason I like hanging out with these guys… they know exactly what they are doing. I will learn their secret ninja art of selling comic books. Oh yes, their secrets will be mine. Then I will crush them. Well… maybe I won’t crush them, but I might be able to sell some more books.

The first day of the show wound down and Dana and I headed up to our rooms in the hotel/bowling alley. We were both anxious to get into our rooms and catch a couple hours sleep before hanging out with Tom, Chris and other guests from the show later that night. However once we got to our rooms we were shocked to discover that instead of the regular hotels rooms one would expect to be given in a, y’know, hotel we had in fact been assigned fully furnished walk-in ovens. I swear it that it must have been hotter in those rooms than it was outside. Still, I was exhausted and flung myself onto the bed/oven rack hoping that sleep would win out over the complete lack of comfort the room offered. I finally managed to drift off, only to wake up ten minutes later drowning in my own sweat.

Realizing that sleep was not an option I went down to the front desk and tried to get another room to no avail. They did send a maintenance man up to my room who was able to confirm that yes it was indeed hot as hell in my room. Beyond that he had little to offer. I decided to sit in a cooler part of the hotel for a while and draw a pinup for the Lumberjack fellas, whose room I am told was as cool and refreshing as a winter day in New England. I am now convinced that they have some sort of magical powers that normal humans do not possess. Either that or I am the bearer of a gypsy curse that someone neglected to inform me of. A few hours later I went back to my room to find that it had cooled somewhat. I finally passed out from pure exhaustion and managed to get a semi-comfortable night’s sleep.

The second day of the show was a little less hectic than the first. Everyone seemed a little more laid back. Fans strolled lazily around the show floor and guests chatted idly with one another. I felt more comfortable than I had on Saturday, in part thanks to getting more than an few hours sleep. I was able to get some sketching done and even drew a couple of pictures of Mars 1938’s hard luck hero, Dash Bradley, for some enthralled children. I love doing sketches for kids. They’re always so captivated as they watch you draw and thrilled with what they receive when you are done. It certainly went a long way toward making me forget all about our less than stellar sales and the sauna that was my room.

After that I wandered around the show and talked to a few of the people I had met on Saturday. I had an incredibly fun and completely nerdy conversation with a man dressed as a Colonial Marine (those guys from Aliens) and his wife. I got to check out all of the amazing props that went along with his get up including an M41A Pulse Rifle and a working replica of a motion tracker. I’ll fully admit that I was in geek heaven at this point as Aliens is one of my favorite movies of all time. We talked about the movie and how awful AvP was and how great it would be if they would just bring back the Colonial Marines in the next film.

I went back to the table and was about to continue sketching when I was approached by a guy in a bee-costume (I have no idea) with a nametag that read, appropriately enough, “Stingy”. He looked somewhat nervous as he came up to the table, a copy of X-Statix #1 clutched in his hand. I knew what was coming. He cleared his throat and began to speak. “I just found out you were here, I can’t tell you what a big fan I am of your work.” I felt bad but replied, “I’m not him. My name’s Paul Milligan. I do write comics but I’m not him.” He was apparently under the impression that I was professional comic book writer,
Peter Milligan. An honest mistake and truthfully not the first time it’s happened to me since I started doing these shows regularly. Surprisingly “Stingy” didn’t look disappointed at all and we talked for a few more minutes before he bought a couple of our books and went back into the dealers room where, I assumed, he was working with one of the retailers. That might just be my third favorite moment of the show, right after the young boy and his little sister who patiently waited for me to do those Dash Bradley sketches and watching the extremely hot, tattooed belly dancers with a completely smashed Chris Peel. Afterward “Stingy” left Chris insisted that I should totally have pretended that I was Peter Milligan and signed “Stingy’s” book anyway.

Late in the afternoon the show was beginning to die down and, being anxious to get on the road and get home before too late, the Stumblebum and Lumberjack guys decided to leave the show a little early. After packing up and filling up on gas (only $2.65 a gallon!!!) we headed out. The four of us stopped off a Joe’s Crab Shack for dinner before hitting the road and heading back to Dallas. It was a great meal (mmm, crawfish étouffée) and the perfect way to end the trip as we talked about the show and comics and movies. Tom and Chris told us about some of the upcoming plans for Some Big Lumberjack, which sound hilarious and we discussed doing more cons together. We said our tearful goodbyes and hit the road, bound for home and the comfort of our own beds.

Looking back on the show now I realize what a great experience it was for Stumblebum. We learned a thing or two about selling our books and interacting with fans. We found a couple of great friends to team up with at future conventions. And maybe, just maybe we were able to broaden our fan base a little bit. I certainly learned that it is entirely possible for me to pass myself off as Peter Milligan, despite the fact that he is British, blonde, athletic and talented… the Bizarro version of myself.

Thanks to J.P. and the great staff at SoonerCon for inviting us, taking care of us and putting on such a great show. We’ll definitely be back next year. Thanks to Chris and Tom for showing us how to work a convention like a pimp works his ladies and for making me laugh so hard that people kept staring at me in shock and disgust. And most importantly, a big thank you to all the fans that stopped by our table, showed interest in our books and wore bizarre bee costumes.

Speaking of costumes, thank you to all the pretty ladies in the revealing attire… I love you all.

Writer Pimp Thyself

Time for a little shameless self-promotion I think.

A few months ago Young American Comics invited some folks to contribute two to three-page stories for their latest anthology, The Big Ol’ Book of BIZMAR. But what’s a BIZMAR, you ask? Why it’s simple – Bunnies, Insects, Zombies, Monkeys, Aliens and Robots. Basically the only requirement for each story (besides length) was that it had to include each of those things in some fashion, be it subtle or overt.

This week The Big Ol’ Book of BIZMAR became available for sale at the Young American Comics website. The book features over 200 pages of stories by dozens of creators, including yours truly teaming up with that jack of all artistic trades, Dave Sherrill for a 2-page story called “Membership Drive… Of Death!” It’s pretty damn funny if I do say so myself. And I do. And so does my mom.

So buy The Big Ol’ Book of BIZMAR and help support yer local comic book writer/artist… aka, ME! And just to prove I’m a nice guy I will send a free sketch to anyone who emails me a picture of themselves with a copy of the book.

Bullets & Bad Words

Virgin Comics has amassed quite an impressive line-up of talent for their new line of comics that debuted this month. In a recent press release it became quite apparent that trend of recruiting top talent would continue as they announced the upcoming debut of Seven Brothers with none other than John Woo and Garth Ennis at the helm! Could this be one of the most violent, action-packed comics ever to hit stands? One would certainly hope from two guys who are masters of both.

No art team was announced for the book but it was revealed that Final Fantasy and Vampire Hunter D artist, Yoshitaka Amano would be on hand to provide covers for the series.

I Was Going To Call This Bit “The Deodato Supreme” But That Sounds A Bit Naughty

After three years on the book (counting the Supreme Power series) Gary Frank is leaving
Squadron Supreme. His replacement on the series will be artist Mike Deodato, who will join writer
J. Michael Straczynski with issue eight. And you know what? I’m good with that. That’s great news. I was a huge fan of the original series, Supreme Power but I was massively disappointed by what it became in Squadron Supreme. So I’m completely happy knowing that Deodato, whose art has slowly gone from being not-so-bad to I-wish-I-was-blind awful, has landed on the perfect book for him, i.e. one which I am in no danger of ever reading. Plus, the always-impressive Gary Frank is now free to work on a book that is, you know, actually readable. It’s a win-win!

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Last week I showed you the series teaser for Brian K. Vaughn’s upcoming Dr. Strange mini-series (now revealed to be entitled Dr. Strange: The Oath). Following up on that Vaughn has released a three page preview of the new series:

Damn You, Screw-On Head!

Picking up on another story from last week you can now check out the pilot for The Amazing Screw-On Head right here, courtesy of the Sci-Fi channel. That’s right… the whole thing! And let me tell you, it’s actually pretty great. It’s not exactly like the comic and takes a few liberties with the characters and situations here and there, but that doesn’t really surprise me in the least. It’s an adaptation, not a literal translation. There are actually a few things added that are pretty damn creative and definitely live up to the spirit of the original one-shot. The show features some really brilliant animation and while it may not be quite as bizarre the comic it still retains that same weirdness and wry humor. And David Hyde Pierce as Emperor Zombie is pure gold. I’m definitely looking forward to more animated Screw-On Head adventures.

Paulnac The Magnificent

The San Diego Comic Con is coming this weekend and that means next week I will have more comic book news than I know what to do with. With that in mind I figured I’d get a head start and make a prediction about what might be one of the biggest stories to come. Just give me a second to don my elaborate turban and get Ed McMahon here to hand me the sealed envelope.

(Paulnac holds the sealed envelope up to his turban)

PAULNAC: Superman: The Movie director, his former assistant and one half of the Kubert Bros.

ED McMAHON: Superman: The Movie director, his former assistant and one half of the Kubert Bros?

(Paulnac rips open the envelope and removes the card)

PAULNAC: (reading) The new creative team for Action Comics!

ED McMAHON: I don’t get it.

PAULNAC: Well it’s… it’s not really a joke. See, I was just trying to think of a creative and funny way to make a prediction about something that’s actually been a pretty hot rumor in the comic book industry for a while now and…

ED McMAHON: Buh?

PAULNAC: Ah, forget it.

Solicitation Will Get You Ten To Twenty

DC Comics Solicitations for October 2006

Marvel Solicitations for October 2006

The Only Comics That Matter

Last Week –
Superman #654 by Kurt Busiek and Carlos Pacheco

Emily Edison by David Hopkins and Brock Rizy

This Week –
Rush City #1 by Chuck Dixon and Timothy Green II

Silent Dragon TPB by Andy Diggle and Leinil Yu

Casanova #2 by Matt Fraction and Gabriel Ba

Daughters of the Dragon #6 by Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti and Khari Evans

Rival Schools #2 by Corey Lewis

Next Week –
Batman #655 by Grant Morrison and Andy Kubert



If you know of any interesting news, rumors, lies, etc. about comics and think I should know about it too just email me at thesuperleezard@yahoo.com.

Read more dumb crap written by me at www.livejournal.com/users/superleezard.

My semi-daily webcomic, Der Wundervolle Bean, will be coming to an end soon. But you can still check it out here www.livejournal.com/users/der_magic_bean.

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