The Bum’s Rush #9

The Bucky Thing (Told You I Wouldn’t Forget)

I’m trying to figure this one out. Maybe you can help me? I just want to know if I’m being hypocritical or if this actually makes sense. Here, let me lay it out for you.

Everyone in comics (mostly superhero comics) dies. And they always, always come back. That’s just the way it is. Like it or not, it will never change. However, there are certain unspoken cardinal rules regarding this aspect of comics.

       1) Bucky stays dead.

       2) Aunt May never dies (except that one time, but come on, that was a bad time for comics, plus it
            happened during the Clone Saga anyway and who really wants to remember that?).

Who the hell is Bucky you ask? Bucky was the sidekick, the Robin if you will, to Captain America way back in the 40’s. And he died. He died bad. There was a bomb and Nazis and everything. Trust me, it wasn’t a pretty death. It’s also one of the lynchpins of Captain America’s modern day origin. The bomb that killed Bucky also sent Cap plunging into the freezing cold ocean, where he remained suspended in a block of ice (c’mon, it was the 60’s when they did this) for decades until the Avengers revived him. And Cap has always regretted what happened to his partner. It’s one of the things that forms the core of his character. In part, he’s fighting the good fight in Bucky’s name.

So in the current Captain America storyline it looks like they broke unwritten cardinal rule number one. They brought Bucky back. As a bad guy. At first I wasn’t too happy about that. I mean to me that’s like bringing Bruce Wayne’s folks back to life. It’s like un-exploding Krypton. Without these core elements the characters wouldn’t be the enduring icons we all know and love.

So now we come to my dilemma. Recently in the Batman books Jason Todd returned from the grave. As a bad guy (we won’t get into how I think Marvel’s just ripping DC off). Jason Todd was the second kid to become Robin, after Dick Grayson quit and became Nightwing. No one really liked Jason Todd very much. How much did they not like him? DC held a vote. Call one number if you want Jason Todd to live. Call another number if you want the little bastard to eat a bullet. And eat a bullet he did. Well, sort of. He was beaten to death.

Now he’s back and I think it’s great. It’s great because Jason’s death nearly drove Batman insane and his return is rife with great drama and storytelling. It’s great because adding an “evil” Robin to Batman’s enemy list is full of so much potential. He’s like the anti-Batman.

So there it is. Bucky comes back and I find myself thinking how horrible an idea it is. Yet, Jason Todd comes back and I’m doing a little jig over here. Now I think there is one big difference between the two. Bucky’s death is an important part of the origin of the modern day Captain America and essentially changes things about the character and where he came from. On the other hand the return of Jason does not change who Batman is or why he does what he does. So tell me, am I being hypocritical here? Or does this actually make some kind of sense.

The truth is, no matter how much I may be against the return of Bucky, it’s still a great story and a great book. So I’m sticking with it. But I’m still wary.

I am nerd, here me roar! And then wheeze and cough a little and push up my glasses.

Why Batman Begins Is Not A Sequel

Dana said he saw some critic on TV asking why Batman had to be so dark. Why couldn’t they make it more lighthearted like the other movies, he asked. I’ll tell you why. In case no one noticed, that last Batman movie (Batman and Robin) sucked out loud. And because it was such a horribly vile piece of shit it effectively killed not only the Batman movie franchise, but also the market for superhero movies for years.

There were so many reasons that movie sucked, but the root of the entire problem came down to this – the filmmakers lost sight (if they had it to begin with) of what Batman is about. It is not about the gadgets. It is not about the fancy cars. It’s not about flashy bat suits or neon lights or stupid wisecracks or acid-trip inspired architecture. It is about vengeance. It’s about a little boy who died and became something terrible the night his parents were killed in front of him. It is certainly not a playground for lighthearted, goofy or downright retarded antics. Batman’s supposed to be dark. He was created to be dark. He’s supposed to scare you as much as the criminals do.

Batman Begins nails this concept. And it nails a concept that eluded Joel Schumacher, which is that Bruce Wayne and Batman are not the same person. Bruce Wayne is a mask that Batman wears in order to function in normal society. Thank God someone finally made a movie that came right out and said it.

So yeah, Batman Begins is not a sequel. It’s not a continuation of the last four Bat movies. Realistically it never could have been. It is it’s own movie. Because no one wanted to see Batman with nipples on his costume. No one wanted to see any more shots of Batman’s ass. And most importantly, no one wanted to see a goddamned Bat Credit Card ever, ever again.

And Another Thing!

I just wish somebody in Hollywood could open their eyes and take a look at the plain and simple truth – comic book movies that are faithful to the material almost always clean up at the box office. Conversely, almost every comic book movie that takes liberties and abandons the core concept of the original idea fails miserably. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it jackholes!

Bat Credit Card . . . Jesus . . .

Quick Bits

• Batman Begins baby!! Woo! What a brilliant cast. And just about everyone gets a chance to shine. Coulda done with a smidge more Gary Oldman though. Haha! Take that Schumacher!
• Haha, Squirrel Girl’s got nutsacks! (GLA reference)
• NO!! Say it ain’t so Monkey Joe! (another GLA reference)
• Seriously . . . read GLA. I’m tellin’ you.
• Stupid Giant Sized X-Men #3. I just assumed there was an actual feature length story written by Joss Whedon and drawn by Neal Adams . . . not just an 8-page piece a crap! Then a bunch of reprints! I should really start looking at my comics before I buy them.
• I think I’m really going to like Viper Comics’ The Middleman.

NEXT WEEK:  Uhm . . . I’ll think of something.

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Read more stupid crap I write at www.livejournal.com/users/superleezard

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