In New York we join the Fantastic Four in their headquarters where we find Johnny Storm reading the latest issue of The Hulk. This can be a little confusing because Marvel exists in their own comic book world as a comic book company that creates comics based on "real" heroes. There's an excellent backup story from the 1980s The Thing comic series, written by John Byrne, where Ben is reading an issue of his own comic and becomes so irritated with the story that he storms down to Marvel's building and beats up John Byrne, editor Ann Nocenti, and artist Ron Wilson.

Back to our comic though, Johnny makes a comment that The Hulk's ugly mug reminds him of Ben's! The Thing, always able to control his temper, snatches the comic away from Johnny and an altercation occurs, which is trademark Thing and Human Torch behavior. Reed intervenes by wrapping his stretchy limbs around The Thing before he can obliterate the Torch and Sue sprays Johnny with a fire extinguisher to cool him down.

As Reed tries to reason with them, the lights in their headquarters suddenly go out, plunging them into darkness. Outside we see Doom's helicopter hovering above the building (not yet named the Baxter Building for you sticklers) that houses the FF's headquarters. Suddenly a massive net is dropped from the whirlybird that envelopes the skyscraper.

Doom, using a loudspeaker in the chopper, introduces himself to the FF. Reed immediately recognizes the voice, one he believed that he'd never hear again! And with that we enter a flashback to Reed's college years. A classmate by the name of Victor von Doom (if you don't see where this is going then you should probably allow someone to kick you in the face), who was not only a brilliant student, became heavily involved in sorcery. One evening, Doom, who was conducting an experiment in the dark arts, miscalculated and an explosion, occurred that horribly disfigured his face. Continuing with his stream of bad luck, the Dean of the college kicks Victor out of the school.

The last Reed had heard, Doom was in Tibet attempting to master black magic and sorcery, but now the crazy guy is hovering above them in a helicopter! Reed foreshadows the whole adventure with "This well could be the prelude to the most dangerous adventure of our career!" Thanks Reed.

Doom announces to the four that they are his prisoners and that if they want to live, then they'll do what the hell he wants them to (that's my new pick-up line)! The villain demands that Sue Storm is sent to him, so that he can hold her hostage to insure the others do as he wishes. Ben, losing his temper once again, grabs at the net covering the building from a window and finds that it's electrified. Sue talks the others into giving in to Doom's pressure and so the cloaked scoundrel de-electrifies the net and Sue climbs up it to the top of the building.

In part two of our story, Sue is in Doctor Doom's copter, tied up and gagged. With that taken care of, the villain then demands that the other three enter his copter, promising not to attack him. Von Doom, counting on Mr. Fantastic's inquisitive nature and the three's love for Sue, knows very well what their answer will be. After agreeing, Doom hoists them into the cargo bay of his helicopter via dome-shaped cage.

Doctor Doom flies them back to his castle where he explains the rules of their agreement: if the FF succeeds in carrying out his mission, then they will all be rewarded. If they fail, he still has Sue as a hostage! Once again, the three agree to his terms and he proceeds to explain the mission; they will use his newly constructed time machine to travel to the time of the Pirate Blackbeard and return with his treasure. The Torch asks him, rather brashly, why he doesn't just do it himself. Doom responds that he cannot due to the fact that someone must remain to operate the device.

Once again, the FF acquiesce (Doom is great with the peer pressure, isn't he?) and are sent back in time to steal the treasure. Astonished that the machine worked, the three find themselves amongst a crowd of pirates. Ben scares the pirates off in order for Johnny and Reed to steal clothes from a nearby heap, which themselves were stolen by the pirates (but two wrong don't make a right, kiddies. remember that. - a very special message from Drew). Once disguised as pirates (arrgh), the three mix with the locals, one of which takes an interest in them. He orders a serving wench (...send e-mails to westofmiskatonic@gmail.com) to serve the three strangers a special brew of grog that'll knock 'em out cold.

The three awaken some time later to find themselves locked in a pirate ship, while the pirates up on deck decide what to do with their new slaves. Pirates, who are notoriously bad at getting along, begin to argue over who is to give the orders, when The Thing (in full pirate garb, still) breaks through the floor of the deck and pulls a pirate down to the hold below. Ben then jumps up on deck and takes care of a slew of the scurvy-infested sea goers. Johnny and Reed get in on the action, when suddenly their ship is attacked by a rival pirate ship that just so happens to be packed with treasure (Blackbeard's??)! Oh coincidences how I love thee!

The Torch flames on and attacks the other ship. Reed stretches his body from ship-to-ship, creating a bridge for The Thing and their new pirate friends (what better way to unite pirates and superheroes than other pirates attacking?) to cross. After taking down the rival pirates, like a grandmother smacking the taste from a disrespectful kid's mouth, the pirates proclaim their allegiance to Blackbeard (The Thing is wearing a fake black beard with his pirate costume!)! Reed and Johnny, coming up from the new ship's hold, carrying treasure, overhear the proclamation and realize that The Thing is in fact the infamous pirate known as Blackbeard! You see how that works? By The Thing going back in time and donning the fake black beard and interfering with the timeline, he actually IS Blackbeard (space-time class is over now). The treasure is his!

Reed takes the treasure chest and dumps the loot on the deck of their new ship and replaces it with chains (you people are smart, I don't have to spell everything out for you). Preparing to go back through time, Ben announces that he doesn't want to return to his own time, that he likes it in the past. Here, in the past, he's respected and not fears for looking different; he's a leader. In order to insure that Johnny and Reed don't try to force him back, he has them tied up and put in a life boat. Unfortunately the weather has made a turn for the worse and a twister appears, destroying the boat. The three luckily wash ashore (while apparently the crews of the two ships die like the stupid pirates they are) and Ben admits his mistake.

Johnny finds the chest full of chains right in time, as Doctor Doom presses the return button on his time machine, bringing our three heroes back to the present (or 1961). Doom, giddy, explains that the jewels in Blackbeard's treasure originally belonged to King Arthur's wizard, Merlin! Apparently they give their owner the power of invincibility. Unfortunately for Doom the chains inside the chest will provide him with no power at all. Taking the situation into his hands, The Thing attacks and smashes Doom to bits!

Not so fast, faithful Down But Not Out reader! Our villain is not dead! No, it was just a robot: a DOOMBOT! A viewing screen drops from the ceiling, displaying Doom, who announces that he is in a hidden room somewhere in the castle. With the press of a button, he begins draining the oxygen from the room. Sue, who is still with the villain, turns invisible and begins hitting buttons, one of which causes Doom's entire viewing machine to explode (in his face!).

Sue reaches the chamber just in time to open the door and let air in. The Thing, impulsive as ever, wants to storm through the castle and trash Doom, but Reed warns that the castle is probably booby-trapped. The four escape by using their varied powers and Doom, shaking a fist, looks on from a window high in the fortress. Strapping a jet pack to his back, the brilliant villain escapes, but not without a short chase provided by the Torch. Unfortunately Doom's jet pack is too powerful for the teenage matchstick, so he escapes with little worry.

So ends the first encounter with the FF's greatest foe! Yeah, not exactly what you expected, huh? The first appearance of Doctor Doom is riddled with plot holes the Fantasticar could be driven through, but it does provide the basic groundwork for the Doctor Doom comic fans know today. First up, we touch on the idea that Von Doom is learned in the powers of sorcery and magic, something that's explored extensively later on. We also see that he is a master planner; Doom has an answer for every scenario he's confronted with. Finally, we see the fact that Doctor Doom is a scientific genius. His time machine (which also plays a heavy role in later stories) is introduced as well as the Doombot (which is, in my opinion, the ultimate cop-out, usually).

I'm willing to let the goofiness slide on this story simply because it's a fun read. You may argue with the logic of the story, but I'll be damned if you won't enjoy the book if you read it. It has it all: the Fantastic Four, Doctor Doom, action, adventure, and pirates! What's not to love there (sorry ninja fans)?

Jack Kirby's artwork is spectacular as usual. The first four panels of the scene in which Reed, Ben, and Johnny appear in the time of the pirates is jaw dropping. For 1961, this art is way beyond its time, but that's the trademark of Jack. The man was always one step ahead of other artists. This is also the first book that Joe Sinnott began regularly inking Kirby's art on. Sinnott's work, in my opinion, complements Jack's art better than any other person that took to the task of inking it.

Like issue number one that I covered last week, you can pick this one up in the first volume of The Essential Fantastic Four. But, like I said last week, if you want to get the full Jack Kirby experience (now with Joe Sinnott!!!), you should pick up a color reprint. Honestly, you really can't go wrong either way you go.

That'll wrap it up for this week, but I'd like to ask my faithful readers (all... what is it now? Two people and one dog?) to send me your thoughts on the Fantastic Four movie (only if you've seen it, I'd rather stay away from the ill-informed douchebaggery). Also, any requests for future column topics are appreciated. See ya next week!