Welcome back to the last DBNO of 2005! I've been blessed with the chance to write for this site and I certainly hope I'm able to for many years to come. The ol' DBNO isn't the only thing I've been doing either! Nope, you should definitely check out my original fiction series here (link to first Tomorrow's Light, please).

Enough of my self-promotion... here's this week's article!

Marvel Fanfare #38
Original Release Date - April 1988
"Whatever Happened to the Podunk Slam?"
Writer - Jo Duffy
Penciler - Judith Hunt
Inker - Bill Sienkiewicz
Letterer - Jim Novak
Colorist - Eric Lee
Editor - Al Milgrom
EIC - Tom DeFalco

The girls of the Danielle Clarke Home for Lost and Friendless Girls are getting quite a shock this evening; an old woman has entered the dorms and immediately commenced in ranting and raving. Sure, that's pretty strange, but what's scary is the old woman was in one of the girls' beds! And the girl, whom the bed belongs to? Missing.

***

Marc Spector's Art Gallery is home to a vast amount of beautiful pieces of art, but this just isn't one of them. Spence Kodiak, the man behind bringing in most of the pieces, has presented Marc with something that's just not up to par; it's the High Priest's Death Mask of Koala Munba... and it's hideous. Sure, it's ancient and it's a piece of art, but it does very little to compliment the other works in the Gallery.

Spence explains to Marc that it has a curse! Marc, always interested in the supernatural, listens as his friend explains that the inscription has something about the twisting of the path to heart's desire. That's it? Spector finds it a bit too vague and laughs it off.

Outside, Marc's chauffeur and sidekick, Frenchie, explains Mr. Spector has another appointment. Marc says his goodbye to Spence and leaves for his new destination: the Danielle Clark Home! Frenchie explains that he's arranged for an outing for the girls, which will do nothing but good stuff for the 'Marc Spector Philanthropist' image.

Upon arriving at the home, Marc is nearly trampled as the girls race downstairs and out the front door to the limo. In the commotion, Marc hears some mention of tickets to an event. He questions Frenchie, who just tells him to wait, 'cause he's gonna love it!

Marc finds himself not loving it. What's it? A concert put on by Podunk Slam, the newest teenage boy pop group. Screaming pre-teens; horrible music; it's one of the worst villains he's ever faced.

Much later, Marc is home nursing a massive headache, the result of loud music and screaming girls. As he looks over a magazine article about the young group, the Priests of Khonshu interrupt his vexation with yet another vision (for more about these, check out my article on the first issue of Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu). This particular daydream consists of elderly women insisting that they are not old, as well as the boys of Podunk Slam posing with the Death Mask of Koala Munba!

Marc dons the MK suit and decides to check in on Podunk Slam since he's already seen the mask today and knows there are no leads there. Once at the penthouse the boys are in, Moon Knight overhears a rather mystifying conversation between the boys and their manager about the increase of salaries.

The manager tells the boys that he'd be glad to increase their salary... if they could find a place in their contract that calls for him to do so. After some objections from the group, the manager muses about their overzealous nature of receiving what he had to offer and the fact that they never considered the price paid. Appletree Enterprises and Productions have made the boys stars, so he doesn't understand the complaints, especially considering the boys aren't the ones actually paying the price of the agreement.

Apparently, the spell used "made it necessary for others to lose." Spell? What does that mean?

The manager continues, explaining it to the boys, who are apparently unsure of what it does; the spell seeks out those close to you who have what you desire in abundance. They are immediately concerned for their young fans, but the concern is interrupted as the manager spots Moon Knight on the terrace and calls for security. Moon Knight jumps from the balcony just as the bodyguard enters the room, gun drawn.

Moon Knight decides to visit the Danielle Clarke home, because whatever is going on is affecting the fans and MK knows those are in abundance at the home. Upon arriving, MK finds a rather odd situation in which an ambulance and the police have arrived.

Old friend, Lieutenant Menzies is there, so MK leaps from his hiding spot and asks just what is going on. Menzies isn't quite sure what's going on actually, "If it's kidnapping, it's one of the weirdest I've ever encountered. But for the past two nights, different girls have disappeared from here, and in both cases, their places have been taken by confused and harmless senior citizens."

MK asks what the ladies were wearing when the police found them. Menzies explains that, in both cases, the elderly women were wearing undersized pajamas. Also, apparently they've got quite a few of these older folk showing up at shelters all over New York.

Just as an orderly is rolling the old lady out of the home in a wheelchair, MK spots something the orderly is holding and asks what it is. The man explains that he barely managed to get it from the woman and then hands it to the hero, who doesn't seem too surprised that it's an autographed picture of Podunk Slam. Before leaving, he tells Menzies to warn the nursing homes and shelters that something weird might happen tomorrow night.

***

The boys of Podunk Slam are backstage preparing for a show... all but one of them. Ricky is more than just slightly concerned that something is happening to their fans, the girls they all love. Moon Knight arrives and tells them how happy he is that at least one of them has a conscience. He presents them with the Death Mask just as the manager and the bodyguards enter the room.

A fight ensues, with the manager ducking out to run to the stage. He grabs a mic and tells the young fans that Moon Knight is attacking their pop idols and that they should rush backstage and protect their favorite group.

Back at the dressing room, MK finishes up with the bodyguards, but has no time to relax. The boys of the group notice a faint rumble that's growing steadily louder. Phillip pokes his head out of the door and sees tons of screaming, angry female fans rushing the dressing room.

They break through and immediately attack Moon Knight, who is at a loss; because he knows full well he can't physically defend himself against the innocent girls. One of the members of Podunk Slam grabs the Death Mask and smashes it against the floor, immediately breaking the hold it has on the girls, turning those elderly women in the shelters and nursing homes across the city back into the young girls they were... it also breaks the spell helping Podunk Slam... stay young.

The young fans in the dressing room are appalled at the sight of the once young hunks, now turned back to their true ages--older than dirt. Moon Knight leaves the five men in their dressing room and swings off into the night, sure that their consciences will take care of them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's it. Kinda interesting, huh?

Yeah, and completely goofy, wild, and without a doubt--fun! It's kind of interesting, because this story is actually just as relevant today as it was then. Boy bands, though somewhat on the decline right now, have been huge for the past umpteen years. The narrative at the point where Marc and Frenchie accompany the girls to the Podunk Slam show is quite appropriate (at least via my opinion and Jo Duffy's). It states:

"They are the Podunk Slam. They are proof that, in the hands of a shrewd production company, five boys who combine a staggering lack of talent as singers, dancers, or actors, when decked out in the requisite androgynous costumes, flashing boyish smiles and bursting with energy, can capture the feminine hearts--and pull in huge sums of money."

How awesome is that? Talk about pegging an entire fad of music--accurately.

You know, I just realized as I was writing this that, as much as I love this weird story, if I were trying to sell you on picking up a copy of Marvel Fanfare, this is probably not the one I should have covered. Oh well, if you like strange super hero stories, then this might have caught your fancy. If it did, you should check out the original run of Moon Knight as well, because it was chock full of non-traditional super hero stories.

Anyway, MF was a title that presented stories that wouldn't necessarily make sense in continuity or wouldn't have made for a good single issue of that particular hero's actual title, because maybe it just didn't fit. But I'm not suggesting the stories in this title are sub par at all, so don't think that. MF had its share of fantastic stories, some involving the X-Men, Spider-Man, etc. It also had its fair share of stinkers and oddities, the latter of which I'll throw this story.

But man, Fanfare always had some of the best interior art. The cover art, though, was truly awesome. Not this particular issue, mind you, but others had impressive painted or penciled wraparound covers.

There's a back-up Dazzler/Rogue story here that I'm not getting into. Cry! Go ahead! Do it! I'm still not gonna talk about it. Go buy this issue and read it yourself!

Come back next week for... wait... am I doing my column next week?