The Weigh In #55

This week kids we are going to take a trip in the way back machine…

This weekend Oscar winner and all around “average joe” kind of guy Tom Hanks has a new film coming out; The Da Vinci Code. He has worked with some if the biggest directors in the world; Steven Spielberg, Robert Zemeckis, Joel and Ethan Cohen, Frank Darabont, and most recently, Ron Howard (his third by the way; the first, a mere fish tale compared to this big budget adventure, and the second is an astronaut’s nightmare). He has the hardware and the resume to be taken seriously as an artist. He can command large sums of money and brings heavy acting talent to anything he is a part of.
Riddle: Why would a man with such credentials and such raw power dress up like this:
Answer: (1) Who the hell knew who Tom Hanks was in 1981, and (2) because it is funny dammit, and Tom Hanks knows the funny.

Before Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Castaway, and Saving Private Ryan, Tom Hanks was the ad exec who could only afford to live in a woman’s dorm and had to live in drag to keep from getting kicked out on the street. He was the clueless violinist mistaken for a secret agent in The Man With One Red Shoe and the little boy who literally grew up way too fast in Big. Before he became a muckety muck with all of the power of a Hollywood God, he was a lovable goof that liked his parties full of trannies and horny donkeys, his partners fast talking and straitlaced, and his women a little more fish than woman. We totally dug him for it. While Tom Hanks is acting his butt off on the big screen as a symbologist being chased by some evil religious types I wanted to take a look the lighter side of Tom Hanks. Let’s take a peek at a much simpler time when tranquilizing a giant boa constrictor with barbiturates and jumping into a giant volcano for
Meg Ryan's heart seemed like a pretty reasonable thing to do.

Here are my top 5 favorite goofy assed Tom Hanks flicks:

5. Splash: Allen Bauer meets the woman of his dreams and finds out she is a mermaid. In one of his many pairings with John Candy, he plays a lovestruck goofball who has to choose between his current life and life with the woman of his dreams. She just happens to have fins.

4. Big: Josh Baskin is a little boy who can’t wait to grow up and be “Big”. When he gets his wish he realizes that being an adult isn’t all playing with toys and trading baseball cards.

3. Dragnet: Pep Streebeck is the young, out of control police officer to Dan Aykroyd’s straight edged Sgt. Joe Friday. An absolutely brilliant remake to a classic police show. Don’t skip through the credits or you will miss a pretty hilarious rap song by Hanks and Aykroyd.

2. Bachelor Party: Rick Gassko is about to get married and his best friends want to throw him a bachelor party. Things get out of control very quickly when transsexual hookers, donkeys, and a crazy chase scene are involved.

1. Joe vs. The Volcano: A hypochondriac who is convinced he is going to die decides to throw himself into a volcano to save a tropical island village. Tom Hanks’s most overlooked and by far his funniest movie. Meg Ryan is absolutely wonderful in three different roles. Absolute genius.

With Tom Hanks taking a turn for the serious over the last few years and only giving us the occasional glimpse of his comedic genius, this week seemed as opportune a time as any to remember some of his lighter fare as one goofy summbitch. So, if you haven’t seen any of these films, or haven’t seen them in a very long time, I would highly recommend you run on out to your local video store and make it a Blockbuster night; courtesy of Tom Hanks. Just don’t forget the adult diapers. And if you have time, check out his new movie. I hear he is pretty good at the dramatic thing too.

This week’s Superman Returns news:
(courtesy of www.Superherohype.com and www.aintitcoolnews.com)
Check out the TV spot that ran during last week’s Smallville here.

(courtesy of www.joblo.com)
Check out the totally cool Superman poster here.

This weekend at your local multiplex (5/19/2006):

The DaVinci Code: Drama/Thriller
Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tatou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, Paul Bettany
Plot: Symbologist Robert Langdon (Hanks) gets called to the murder of a famous curator only to realize that he was keeping an incredible secret. He is chased across Europe by a secret religious organization while trying to unravel a secret that could rock the foundation of the Catholic Church.
Buzz: Dan Brown wove a pretty impressive tapestry of fact and fiction into his best seller
“The Da Vinci Code" which, although fictitious, has become a thorn in the side of the Catholic Church. It was only a matter of time that this became a hit movie, with all of the same controversy. With a pretty outstanding cast and director (Ron Howard), this really should be a pretty good movie.

Over the Hedge: Animated/Family
(voices)Bruce Willis, Gary Shandling, Steve Carrell, William Shatner, Avril Lavigne, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Wanda Sykes, Nick Nolte, Allison Janney, Thomas Haden Church
Plot: After a winter of hibernation, the neighborhood park animals wake up to find a hedge blocking what used to be access their forest. After finding out that their forest has been destroyed to make way for a housing complex of “humans”. The animals decide to climb the hedge to meet their new neighbors.
Buzz: Since it’s first film “Antz”, Dreamworks has put together one quality animated film after another and from everything I am hearing, this one doesn’t seem to break the trend.

See No Evil: Horror
Kane
Plot: Eight petty criminals and a police officer are trapped in a hotel overnight and encounter a serial killer. They must learn to work together or risk dying at the hands of “Jacob Goodnight”.
Buzz: Simple and to the point. Just the way horror flicks should be. We can only hope for some really cool death scenes.
 

This week on DVD (5/16/2006):

When a Stranger Calls
Napoleon Dynamite (se)
The Ringer
The Producers (2005)
The White Countess
Crimson Tide (se)
Con Air (se)
Enemy of the State (se)
Doogal
Winter Passing
The Big Valley (season 1)
Hill Street Blues (season 2)
Game 6
Grounded for Life (season 2)
Duma
Here Come the Brides (season 1)

And as always, if you want to pick my brain, or just have the urge to tell me how wonderful I am, drop me a line at DPlace76@yahoo.com.
If you have always wanted to know what makes me tick, you can check out my livejournal www.livejournal.com/users/bigdpimpin.
Also, be sure to check out the comings and goings of the Stumblebum crew, stop by our myspace account at www.myspace.com/stumblebumstudios. We are always looking for new friends.