Parting is such sweet sorrow

Well, I’ve had an amazing time running this column, but in the words of Star Trek The Next Generation, “All Good things…”. While I never was quite sure what the … stood for, I think it had something to do with having your show get cancelled. Or in this case, handing the column back over to its proper owner, Paul Milligan. While I may have only been a babysitter in the life of Bum’s Rush, I’d like to think I’m that really cool baby sitter that the kid still remembers four or five years later. I received some great email questions for the farewell, so I’ll mix those in as we go. I hope you enjoy my final “Bum’s Rush”.

Wave Goodbye Nextwave

Nextwave was one of the few comics coming from Marvel that was consistently fun. It had nothing to do with any of their mega events or ultra crossovers or any other super colossal ultimate thing. This book was thought by most who read it to be pure and total genius. From the first page to the last it was nothing but hilarious humor and over the top action, brought together by some of the prettiest art this side of the equator. So of course Marvel is canceling it. It’s not even worth it to me to sit here and lament this or talk about how typical it is of an industry that more and more cares about profit instead of quality products. Let’s just wave goodbye to our fun friend Nextwave and leave it at that.

Reader Question Number One

Jane F. from Tampa, Fl writes: “A.C., I agree with you on comics from the big two. However, it sounds as if the upcoming Stumblebum Studios Round Two Anthology is going to be full of great comics, especially since you wrote some of them. How can I get my hands on this anthology?”

Well Jane F., that’s an inspired question. The anthology will debut at Wizardworld Texas on November 10, and then will be available to be purchased right here at Stumblebum Studios shortly after.

Karma

They’re making “My Name is Earl” comic books. I’m not even kidding.

Reader Question Number Two

John F. from Las Colinas, Tx writes: “Hello A.C., long time reader first time caller here. I’ve been an avid reader of yours for a long while and was wondering when your debut novel, The Path, is going to be available for purchase.”

Well John F., thanks for the question. “The Path” is currently awaiting the proper funding to be printed. If you’d like to know the latest in when my projects are releasing the best thing to do is make me a friend on livejournal. You can find my livejournal at:

http://freejenkins.livejournal.com

Sometimes it writes itself

Okay, I’m not even going to say anything about this. This is the solicit for a new Marvel comic book coming out in January. I’m putting it in here word for word from how Marvel wrote this.

ULTIMATE CIVIL WAR SPIDER-HAM CRISIS (FEATURING WOLVER-HAM) #1
Written by J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
Penciled by MIKE WIERINGO, MIKE ALLRED, JOHN SEVERIN, NICK DRAGOTTA, ARIEL OLIVETTI and JIM MAHFOOD
Cover by MIKE WIERINGO
You asked for it, you got it! Quite possibly the most important comic ever! A life-changing event that will change the way you look at yourself and the world around you! Spinning out of the page of CIVIL WAR -- and every other top-selling comic crossover event you can think of - it’s ULTIMATE CIVIL WAR SPIDER-HAM FRISIS (FEATURING WOLVER-HAM)!!! He’s little, he’s pink, he knows how to bring home the bacon. He’s Spider-Ham - and he’s about to embark a kaleidoscopic, time-spanning, universe-shifting journey that will prove just how big a pig he really is. Guest-starring: Iron Ham, Deviled Ham, Fantastic Ham, Green Ham, Ant-Ham, Ultimate Captain Ham, Hambit, Hamneto, and everyone’s favorite Sorcerer Supreme -- whathisface? You know, the guy with the blue tights and red cape…Mustache…Man-servant named Wong? -- anyway, you know who I’m talking about. He’s in it, too. And Wolver-Ham - did I mention him?

Reader Question Number Three

Bradley F. from Seattle, WA writes: “A.C., my lady stopped taking my calls. Everything was going great between us. I had even gotten her into some comic book series. Every month when Y the Last Man came out she would even go with me to the comic shop to buy it. Things were going great, but one night she called me out of the blue and said “My parents are in town and I want you to meet us for dinner.” The thing was, I was on hour 56 of a 72 hour Dungeons and Dragons marathon session and we were about to ride our horses up Chimera Pass, bamboozle the Owlbears, and challenge Ordwell The Ancient to a battle of might and magic. So obviously I told her that I couldn’t make it. Ever since that night she won’t answer my calls and she sent back the the Deluxe Sandman Hardcover edition I bought her. What did I do wrong?”

Bradley F., don’t fret. You did nothing wrong. Women are just irrational sometimes.

This coffee is hot damn you!

Falling into the category of utterly bizarre, I dug up a scoop to tell you about. There is a webcomic community known as Activate that hosts many free comics. Well, apparently they are at the center of a strange legal situation in Idaho. An unnamed man working at a Lockheed Martin (they make jets) caused over one hundred thousand dollars worth of damage when he activated a jet engine test accidentally. There were some minor injuries to other workers and the man was fired. However, he sued and stated that it was due to his co-worker, who had been using the same computer earlier in the day. You see, the co-worker had left the internet on the Activate webcomic community, and when this worker looked up and saw it, he thought it was the command to activate the engine test. This case was thrown out, but now the fired worker has sued the Activate webcomics community itself, stating that they are responsible for the accident. If the judge agrees, Activate will be forced to pay for all damages, medical bills, and the lost salary and emotional suffering of the fired worker. This matter goes before a judge later this week to see if it can move through to trial. If so the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund is expected to get involved on behalf of Activate. I know this sounds insane, but fat people have won lawsuits against McDonalds before, so who knows.

Reader Question Number Four

Paul Milligan from Dallas, Tx writes: “Thought I’d never get out, didn’t you? It may have taken me two months, but I escaped from that abandoned gold mine you left me in and now I’m back for revenge! Wait a second, have you been writing my column? What… what is all this crap? This isn’t the way I write the Bum’s Rush! This isn’t right at all! You’re nothing but a cad and if I wasn’t so weak from the months of digging my way up to the surface, I’d punch you in the spine!”

My lawyer has told me not to answer this one.

That’s all folks

Well, it looks like that’s it. I hope you all enjoyed spending some time with me here at the Bum’s Rush. Be sure and check back next week for the return of Paul Milligan. I know I for one am looking forward to getting him back on the column. I want to say thanks to Paul for trusting me enough to handle his column for a while. It was a real honor. For those of you thinking you’ve seen the last of me, well think again because I’ve got plenty more going on. Look for my regular column “Ring Psychology” every week right here at Stumblebum and be sure and check out my livejournal (http://freejenkins.livejournal.com) for links to even more of my writing and a healthy dose of me talking about my life. I hope to see you there.