Guess who? That’s right it’s your friendly neighborhood Milligan. It’s still January and instead of keeping to myself in the seediest corner of Stumblebum known as The Bum’s Rush I’m everywhere I’m not supposed to be, causing trouble and besmirching the otherwise good name of dynamite columns such as, case in point, Drew Clements’ Down But Not Out. Drew, in the meantime, is showing his artistic chops over at Nerd Art and trying not to think about the mess I’m making in his kitchen (his metaphorical kitchen… uh… this column… what?).

This week in Down But Not Out let’s take a trip in the way Wayback Machine and visit one of my favorite eras in comic books, a time when the industry was still reeling from the devastating effects of the massive market collapse in 1993. Yes, I’m referring to those halcyon days of the backwards era known as… THE LATE 90’s!!!


Ka-Zar (Vol. 2) #1 – “The Thrilling Return of Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land”

Original Release Date: May, 1997
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciller: Andy Kubert
Inker: Jesse Delperdang
Letterer: Todd Klein
Colorist: Joe Rosas

Our story opens in an enormous high tech office in New York City where a sinister looking businessman, his face scarred with circuitry, holds a very unusual meeting with an equally unusual man known as Gregor. It is revealed that Gregor is the man who trained one of Spider-man’s deadliest foes, Kraven The Hunter. Disliking the sterility of the enormous office, Gregor quickly grows impatient with the businessman and demands to know why he has been summoned. The businessman nonchalantly replies, “Oh, that’s easy. To kill you… if possible.”

A pair of footprints appear in the carpet behind Gregor, who quickly turns and lands a devastating kick to the stomach of an invisible opponent. The kick damages the suit worn by the invisible assassin who becomes visible as he collapses to the ground. Gregor lands another massive blow to a second invisible assailant who tumbles back and falls through the window of the office, hundreds of feet above the ground. Luckily Gregor catches the man before he plummets to his death. As he thanks Gregor for saving him Gregor replies that dropping a man from such a height would cause a commotion, which isn’t his style. He then breaks the man’s neck.

The tech-scarred businessman applauds Gregor and immediately offers him a job. The pair move over to a large display built into the floor, which shows a picture of Antarctica and the businessman explains the details of the job he wants Gregor to do for him. He tells the story of young Kevin Plunder who, as a young boy, was dropped into the Savage Land, a virtually inaccessible prehistoric paradise hidden amongst the ice of Antarctica where dinosaurs and all manner of primitive humanoid races dwell. Gregor’s task is to travel to the Savage Land and kill Kevin Plunder, now known as Ka-Zar, the Lord of the Savage Land.

Two months later, in the Savage Land, a herd of dinosaurs stampede through a small village, sending the locals running for their lives. An enormous T-Rex, the cause of the stampede, charges into the village crushing huts under his feet. Atop the T-Rex’s head is Ka-Zar, trying desperately to steer the monster away from the village. Ka-Zar had been hunting dinner for he and his wife, Shanna (a.k.a. The She Devil) when he spotted the T-Rex heading for the village and attempted to stop the beast.

When his efforts to subdue the beast without harming it prove futile, Ka-Zar produces a blade and stabs it deep into the right eye of the T-Rex, sending the dinosaur slamming to the ground and into a skid towards a cliff. Ka-Zar tries to jump free but the dinner he had found earlier, several small dinos tied together on a rope, becomes caught around the T-Rex’s neck and K-Zar’s own body. With his knife beyond his reach it appears that Ka-Zar is done for. But just before the T-Rex plummets over the edge of the cliff, Ka-Zar’s best friend, Zabu, last of the sabretooth tigers, launches himself at Ka-Zar and breaks him loose of his bonds.

After finally recovering his dinner, Ka-Zar and Zabu head home. Ka-Zar complains to Zabu about getting his pants ripped trying to stop the T-Rex and just how hard it is to find jeans in the Savage Land. Zabu emits a low growl to which Ka-Zar replies that he is most certainly not hung-up on the luxuries of the outside world.

The pair happen upon an apparent quarrel between two Savage Land tribes and Ka-Zar steps in to calm things down. Just then a large stick is swung at Ka-Zar’s head. He ducks the stick and grabs it from one of the tribesman, yelling at him to watch it to which the tribesman replies “Sorry, coach.” We soon discover that the two tribes are playing baseball, which Ka-Zar taught to them, but things became heated when there was a disagreement over the Infield Fly Rule. The tribes continue to argue until Shanna arrives and tells the tribes to straighten up or she would take away their ball. In what is one of my favorite moments in the issue, the tribesmen scatter, fleeing for their lives and yelling "Not again!", "Run, flee!" and "Women and children first!"

As Shanna and Ka-Zar head home together Ka-Zar gets an earful from his wife about teaching baseball to the natives just so he can watch a game from the outside world, a world which they had both agreed to renounce when they were married. Ka-Zar explains that though he was raised in the Savage Land he was old enough when he arrived there to have developed a great love for baseball, basketball and McDonalds. He has no wish to spoil their home but sometimes he misses the outside world and the things it has to offer. Shanna is disturbed by this sudden fixation that her husband has developed.

Soon the couple arrive at their hut and greet Zira, a Savage Land native who occasionally baby-sits Ka-Zar and Shanna’s baby boy, Matthew. As the two enter their hut the argument about the outside world continues and Ka-Zar dismisses the idea that teaching the locals how to play baseball will somehow lead to the detrimental modernization of the Savage Land. Ka-Zar wonders aloud if there are any niceties of the outside world they can observe, to which Shanna responds by unveiling a cake with candles and a bamboo sign that reads “Happy Anniversary.” Ka-Zar had forgotten but quickly remembers that it is the anniversary of the day they started their life together in the Savage Land. Shanna gives Ka-Zar a necklace with a special stone that is meant to bind its wearer to his roots in the jungle. Ka-Zar ponders what the necklace would look like with a three-piece Armani and then embraces his wife.

Meanwhile, in another part of the jungle, Gregor sits atop a high-tech looking throne taking Polaroid snap-shots of the dinosaur-men of the N’Gala tribe. The N’Gala cower in terror, as they believe that Gregor is stealing their very souls with his “magic box.” Gregor tells the tribesmen that they must now do his bidding or face terrifying consequences. An older member of the tribe stands up and calls Gregor a liar. The old N’Gala pleads with his brethren to remember that Ka-Zar had warned them of foreigners from the outside who would seek to exploit their ignorance of the modern world. Gregor decides to punish the man for questioning his godhood and uses a lighter to burn the Polaroid of the old man(osaurus?). As the picture begins to burn Gregor pushes a hidden button on the side of the lighter setting off a hidden explosive, which engulfs the N’Gala elder. The remaining N’Gala peer in confusion at the pile of dust that was once a man. None of them dare speak out as Gregor begins to hand them advanced-looking guns (“magic fire-sticks”) and tells the N’Gala to bring him the head of Ka-Zar.

Ka-Zar, in the meantime, sits in a clearing with Zabu talking about his troubles with Shanna. He begins to question his place in the Savage Land and wonders if he and Shanna are closer now that Matthew has been born or if they are slowly drifting apart. Just then Zabu senses something and as Ka-Zar climbs to his feet a ferocious energy blast from the trees hits Zabu, knocking him to the ground, unconscious. Ka-Zar runs to his friend before noticing who attacked Zabu.

It’s the N’Gala, whom Ka-Zar assumed were peaceful. The N’Gala unleash a volley of gun blasts and Ka-Zar swings into the jungle to escape, followed quickly by his attackers. As the N’Gala make their way deep into the brush they realize too late that Ka-Zar has lead them into a trap. Ka-Zar swings down and knocks his pursuers unconscious.

Hanging from a vine Ka-Zar begins to wonder who has worked the usually docile N’Gala into such frenzy and, better yet, who gave them guns? As if in reply Ka-Zar plummets to the ground, his vine having been cut by Gregor who hangs above Ka-Zar, a maniacal look on his face. Before Ka-Zar can begin to question Gregor the N’Gala attack him once more. He leads the remaining attackers into a tar pit where they become helplessly stuck.

Then Ka-Zar realizes that the final member of the N’Gala hunting party is nowhere to be found. The necklace that Shanna gave to him goes tight and Ka-Zar is pulled back into the grip of the last N’Gala, who, while choking him with his own necklace, tells Ka-Zar that he never belonged in the Savage Land. Luckily the necklace snaps and Ka-Zar delivers a devastating knockout blow to the final attacker. Ka-Zar looks at the broken necklace and wonders how much trouble he’ll be in with the wife. Suddenly he remembers Zabu and runs to his friend’s side once again. Ka-Zar tries to comfort Zabu but the sabretooth is unresponsive. Ka-Zar puts his head to Zabu’s chest but hears nothing. From a distance, hanging in the trees, Gregor watches, a look of grim determination on his face.

And so ends the first issue of one of my favorite short-lived series from the late 90’s. At the time Mark Waid was not only my favorite but was perhaps the most popular and sought after writer in comics. Having just written the critically acclaimed Kingdom Come with Alex Ross and still in the midst of his legendary run on The Flash, it seemed like the guy could do no wrong and everyone wanted him to write for them. After a very popular run on Captain America with artist Ron Garney, the pair was rather unceremoniously yanked from the title when it (along with the Fantastic Four, Iron Man and The Avengers) was cancelled and relaunched as part of Marvel’s Heroes Reborn event. Everyone wondered where Waid would end up next but no one expected him to team up with popular artist Andy Kubert (having himself just come off a very successful run as an X-Men artist) and launch a brand-new series starring, of all people, Ka-Zar, Lord of the Savage Land.

At the time, while Heroes Reborn was in full swing, Marvel launched a number of brand-new ongoing titles including Ka-Zar, Thunderbolts and a new incarnation of Heroes for Hire. I loved all of these titles (and still do to this day) and couldn’t wait for them to hit each month. But Ka-Zar was my absolute favorite thanks to Waid’s amazing storytelling and sense of humor and the stunning artwork of Kubert. Until reading Ka-Zar I had never been a big fan of Kubert’s work, but with this series his art reached a new level and I loved it. The creative team took a character that had, up to that point, always been less than interesting (to me at least) and instantly turned him into one of my favorite Marvel characters ever. By giving him the fixation with the modern world the character suddenly took on a whole new dimension and became believable, or as believable as a modern day Tarzan hanging out in some sort of lost world and fighting dinosaurs can be.

And once his new personality had been properly established Waid proceeded to put this guy with a knife and a loincloth up against some of the most powerful and cosmic villains Marvel had to offer. In the fourteen issues that Waid and Kubert worked on the book, Ka-Zar went up against such foes as The Rhino (whom Kubert made terrifying), The High Evolutionary and even Thanos! It was fourteen issues of the most exciting, hilarious, romantic, epic high adventure I have ever read and it was a shame when Waid and Kubert left the series which led to the books cancellation just a few issues later.

It was the first time I realized that I had begun to follow creators from one book to the next rather than picking up books based on the characters I liked. Never in a million years would I have read a Ka-Zar book had I not been so in love with Mark Waid’s writing at the time. I am truly glad that I did read the book and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for something really different and really, really good.

That’s it for this very special edition (cause it’s written by me, see) of Down But Not Out. Tune in next week when Katie Cook takes the reigns as Stumblebum’s January Rotation continues! As for me, I’ll be mixin’ it up with my take on Ryan N. Wilcox’s Uppercut. WHOO!

If you get a chance to read the rest of the awesome Ka-Zar series then send me an email me at thesuperleezard@yahoo.com and let me know what you think.

Read more dumb crap written by me at www.livejournal.com/users/superleezard.