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Uppercut by Drew Clements


For my first week in the second annual Stumblebum Studios January Switcheroo-switch-up-switchity-switch, I’ve landed the task of taking over Ryan Wilcox’s column. The question, of course, when coming in to do someone else’s column is how do I pay tribute to something already great, but throw my own self-imposed greatness into it?

Since I don’t know the answer to that question and since I’m not really that great, I’ll just start typing and see what happens.

Comic books are my main hobby, but I, like any other entertainment-obsessed person, really enjoy watching and collecting movies. One of the main genres I love and tend to gravitate toward when posed with the question of what to watch at a theater one weekend, is horror. There seems to be no shortage of horror movies arriving at the multiplex on any given weekend. Sure, most of them aren’t very good, but that doesn’t stop people like myself from lining up for the punishment.

Every once in a while a new horror movie will pop up that is genuinely good. The thing about the horror genre is that the line between good, great, and bad is really quite thin. No one really expects too much out of the genre; I know I don’t. How many times can you come up with something different? How many times can you use the same thing over again? For horror, the latter question is the one that writers, though probably not intentionally, stick to.

For me, there are really three types of horror movies. There’s the genuinely creepy movie that will leave a lasting impression on your psyche; there’s the over-the-top gorefest that’s fun to watch just to see how far they go; and then there’s the blatantly cheesy, fun horror movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously. There is another category that I’ll call “Classic” where films like Lugosi’s Dracula and Karloff’s Frankenstein fall into; they’re not quite scary by today’s standards, but back in the ‘30’s, they were. You, of course, then have to decide whether or not any movie in the three main categories is good. And, like I said, with horror, that’s a fine line.



I really do like all three types, but the one that I rarely see if the first one. You know, the effective horror movie; the one that leaves a scene in your mind that you just can’t shake; the kind that compels you to keep a light on or watch a comedy movie after it just to act as a buffer between it and sleeping.

The Japanese seem to really “get” this type of movie. If you’ve ever seen any of the original Japanese movies that American movies like The Grudge, The Ring, or Dark Water are based on, then you know what I’m talking about. The Japanese horror scene is absolutely, well, horrifying; it’s breathtaking.

I have to admit that the American version of The Grudge, directed by Takashi Shimizu, the director and writer of the original Japanese version, Ju-On: The Grudge, is probably one of the creepiest movies I’ve seen in years. The last scene in which Karen Davis (Sarah Michelle Gellar) returns to the home to confront the spirits there will stick with me for years.



Oddly enough, one of my favorites of 2006, the underrated and generally spit on, An American Haunting falls into the creepy category. While it’s not quite as effective as other movies that I place in this category, it is a pretty good example of a recent flick that is at least trying.



For the gorefest category, you have plenty to choose from. These seem to be the most plentiful, especially starting in the 1970’s moving right up to today. Gorefest movies try to push as many buttons, attempting to put the viewer’s face right over the toilet. Some are more effective than others. A few that immediately come to mind are Last House on the Left, I Spit On Your Grave, and Cannibal Holocaust. The first two can be considered more exploitation films than horror, I suppose, but tend to be thrown into the horror genre. All three of these are notoriously explicit, Cannibal Holocaust especially. Having recently watched it, I can only recommend it if you have a very strong stomach. It’s quite gruesome.

The effectiveness of these movies, on myself at least, is quite low. They tend to have very little plot and even less of a lasting impression other than, “Holy crap, nasty!” They just don’t resonate in any other way and, to me, that doesn’t make for a very good overall movie experience.

There are, of course, notable exceptions. Romero’s Dead series (Night, Dawn, and Day) have strong social tones and still manage to gross you out at the same time. They’re genuinely classic movies.



The final category I mentioned are the movies that end up being blatantly cheesy and fun. These are the ones that tend to end up making a mockery of themselves, whether on purpose or not. The slasher flicks of the late 70’s and all of the 1980’s are a prime example. They tended to start out with their first entry in their respective series fairly well, then fell on old tricks that never changed as they progressed through sequel after sequel.

Another type that fell into this category are the movies like The Evil Dead 2 and Herbert West: Re-Animator. These are the ones that by no means take themselves seriously. As a matter of fact, they’re intentionally funny and over-the-top ridiculous! These, like any good comedy movie, do make a lasting impression. There’s more substance to them than just gore; the characters are memorable and the situations are unique. They’re just fun. A fantastic new entry into this category is Slither, James Gunn’s fantastically funny splatterfest of 2006.



Each of the three categories have really good movies. It’s just unfortunate that the genre as a whole has turned fairly stale. There aren’t very many new ideas or, at least, new spins on old ideas (example: Slither) out there. I, personally, don’t want to see the genre fall into releasing nothing but no-brainer gorefests. Those are fine, but after you’ve seen so many, you’re just desensitized; they’re not as fun because plenty of better horror movies have done those tricks before. How many more creative and interesting (cinematically, you freaks) ways can you kill or torture a person? These are, no pun intended, killing the genre. Remember how I said that no one expects too much out of the genre?

Fortunately there is a large catalogue of existing horror movies. No matter what kind of mood you’re in, there’s a movie for you. And, surprisingly enough, there are actually good ones.