“He’ll Regret It Till His Dying Day, If Ever He Lives That Long”

Still January is it? Well, then I guess you know what that means… Ryan Wilcox isn’t here right now. No, thanks to that dreaded January Rotation, Ryan is vacationing in scenic Weigh In-ville. And you, why you’re trapped here with me, the portly Prince of Pain, Paul Pilli… Milligan. If you think I’m following you around, it’s because I am. I am as unpredictable as the tides! This week, The Uppercut. Next week, who knows!? But fear not, January is almost at an end and I’ll soon be confined back in my little cage known as The Bum’s Rush. Soon you’ll be able to go back to avoiding me, safe in the knowledge that you’ll know exactly where I am at all times… or will you?! Mwa-hahahaha!

The Uppercut is one of my favorite new additions to Stumblebum. Each week Ryan reminds me of a classic I’ve long since forgotten, unveils a new way of looking at a cult favorite that I’d never thought of before and sometimes reveals a gem that I’ve never even heard of (no small feat). So of course I agonized over which movie I should talk about in my edition of this column. There are so many great, classic and/or cult movies to choose from. At first I thought I might talk about one of my favorite movies of all time,
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. But I feel like I’ve talked about that movie elsewhere, probably my LiveJournal, so that was out. I ran through a slew of my favorites, Krull, Tron, Prince of Darkness, The Quick and The Dead, Mad Max; the list goes on and on, but nothing seemed right.

And then it hit me, a true classic. A movie I could watch a million times and never get tired of. A movie that is a favorite of my father’s and quickly became a favorite of mine, my absolute favorite John Wayne movie ever, The Quiet Man.

The film, directed by John Ford, tells the story of Sean Thornton (Wayne), a disgraced American boxer who escapes his checkered past by returning to his homeland of Ireland. Almost immediately upon arriving in the small town of Inishfree, Thornton catches a glimpse of the beautiful Mary Kate Danaher (Maureen O’Hara) and falls hopelessly in love. Unfortunately Kate’s ill tempered brother, “Red” Will Danaher is determined to keep Thornton and Mary Kate apart. Though the two eventually marry things are far from perfect as Danaher denies his sister the dowry she is entitled to. Thornton, who doesn’t quite understand how important the dowry is to Mary Kate and still wrestling with his tragic past, refuses to fight for her fortune leading Mary Kate to believe she’s married a coward. Things build to an explosive climax as Thornton, haunted by his past, hounded by a relentless foe and tortured by his love for the hot-tempered Mary Kate, finally has enough and dukes it out with Danaher to win back his wife.

The Quiet Man is worth watching for the last twenty minutes alone, though you’ll be hard pressed not to fall in love with the beautiful scenery and the brilliant characters that populate the film. The film was the one of the first Hollywood movies to shoot on location in Ireland and takes full advantage, presenting some of the most beautiful and authentic scenery I’ve ever seen in a film. You can truly understand how Thornton falls in love with Ireland and why he regards it as heaven on earth. This was also one of the first Hollywood films to accurately portray life in Ireland and all of the characters come across as completely authentic and extremely likeable, even terrible ol’ “Red” Will. Though I love Wayne in this film and regard this as one of his best roles I can’t help but love his supporting cast even more for the pure joy and utter honesty that comes across in their performances. And I’m absolutely in love with Maureen O’Hara, who is gorgeous in this film. Her role as Mary Kate Danaher cemented her position as one of my favorite leading ladies of all time.

And the comedy! There are moments in the movie that have me laughing out loud every time I watch it. Classic films like The Quiet Man never fail to surprise me with the level of sophistication found in the humor. The timing and the subtle innuendo make the comedy in this film infinitely more fun than a dozen raunchy and over the top comedies from today. And Wayne proves that he’s more than a tough guy with a macho swagger as he delivers some great laughs to go with his terrific punches.

I can’t recommend this film highly enough, especially if you’re a fan of The Duke. Every time I pop it in I love it more than I did the last time I watched it and I laugh harder than ever. When the terrific and memorable theme song begins to sound I’m all smiles and I don’t stop smiling until the credits roll. And whenever it’s through I can’t help but wish that I were an Irishman too. It looks like so much fun. Wait a second. I am Irish! Ha, in your face suckers! I’m gonna go drink a Guinness and get in a fistfight.