This week in my life…

Hello guys and dolls, or probably more appropriately Aloha. I am on a lovely sandy beach here in Waikiki, Hawaii, knocking back a nice tall pinacolada and watching the bikinis pass me by. I am sitting on the beach on the advice of a little birdie that takes my bets every week. Now granted, I have been getting a little behind lately, but I really didn’t expect to get a phone call at four in the morning from outside my window, and to see a large bald man roasting marshmallows on my roof. Luckily my editor’s henchmen are afraid of flying and water, so I should be safe here long enough to pay off my debt to him in article submissions. For the next few weeks I will be bringing you my latest version of e-wisdom, via the land of the bottomless fruity drink and the topless.. well, you get the idea.

This week’s rant.

This week there has been a pretty pronounced “thud” in the movie business. Two high action, high octane, and more importantly high budget movies have taken a complete nose dive at the box office over the last few weeks. The first, The Island, budgeted at 122m (and an unknown amount of money on marketing) made 15m it’s first weekend and has made about 25m to date. This movie probably won’t make it’s money back, and may actually be blamed for the downfall (if recent rumors are true) of Dreamworks SKG. Which is sad really, because the initial purpose of Dreamworks was to make quality enjoyable movies affordably. And I was actually rooting on this little studio that could. Not anymore. Not after seeing that little mess they called a movie (see my review in the reviews section for more). I guess there is a lesson to be learned there. But more about that later.

The second, and more recent is Stealth. Budgeted at 130m and untold amounts for marketing, this movie landed at the box office on the opening weekend at a whopping 13m. I haven’t seen this film yet, but after reading a few reviews and a synopsis of the movie this may be the most unintentionally funny killer stealth plane movie of the year. For that reason alone I am sure I will check it out.

I am talking about this this week only because I am tired of hearing Hollywood wine that they are in a slump. We aren’t making the money we have made over the last few years. The reasons they give. The internet, movie rentals through the mail, on demand tv. I think I heard that aliens were brainwashing the mass audience to stay at home and watch tv. I could be wrong about that last part though.

My theory. Crappy movies. You make crap and people will run away in droves. Now I will admit that with so many alternatives to the multiplex, people are less likely to throw away $9 just to watch a bad movie, but the abundance of these alternative mediums is probably more the effect of audience boredom than a cause.

How does Hollywood handle this problem? My answer is two fold; simply lower your movie prices. With more choices people are always going to go for the best bang for their buck. Spending $40-$50 on tickets and concessions is a little pricey when you can swing by Blockbuster after dinner for $10, or order on demand video for $5. Second, stop betting your entire year on flash in the pan big budget extravaganzas. You can make 3 or 4 films for what you are banking on with these big budget extravaganzas. Get used to not pulling in a billion dollars a year to throw at the next big star.

Hollywood’s answer will be, and I’d be willing to throw money down on this, sequels. Make more and more sequels. And it really doesn’t matter if they are any good, if the first made any money, the 2nd is bound to make twice as much. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much in the past to discourage much of that thinking. I mean both Batman Forever and 2 Fast 2 Furious made more than enough of their money back.

Ok, that hurt my head, and I think I have taken enough time from my fruity drink and my eye candy.

Til next time kids.

And remember, please send any hate mail or total adoration to DPlace76@yahoo.com. Check out my live journal at www.livejournal.com/users/bigdpimpin, and please take a gander at the forums and leave a few words of encouragement. It is lonely in this little box and I am just looking for a little love.
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