It is the first week of December and I think the weather has finally decided to tuck its head under the 70 degree mark for the next few months (but in North Texas there is never any guarantee of that). After polishing off the last of the turkey and watching the 30th Circuit City Christmas commercial, I forced myself to deal with the inevitable thorns that get stuck in my craw around this time every year.

1. Not only have I done absolutely no Christmas shopping this year, I haven’t even put together a list of who to do this shopping for or what to get them, and I would probably end up putting off both until the 20th.
    
2. I will spend the next month listening to people passionately complain about the obvious bias of the BCS system in college football, only to completely drop it after the last game is played on January 4th.
    
3. Finding a good, fun, mindless movie to see in the next three months will be as difficult as avoiding Montezuma’s revenge while spending a month in a Tijuana prison cell.

The subject of this week’s article is the third point, not the Montezuma’s revenge, or the Mexican Prison, but the lack of mindless fun from January to March.

Typically, Hollywood sells its soul during the Summer to make as much money as possible, only to try and redeem itself at the end of the year with quality films, hoping that most “finicky” moviegoers will forgive them their yearly experiment in Capitalism. For all it’s attempts to do good at the end of the year, we end up paying the price for the next few months, with the studios pleasing neither the masses nor the critical viewers, kind of like a nice new years movie hangover. December is traditionally Oscar prep month because any movie that has any hope of being nominated for anything has to be released in at least one theater in America by Dec. 31, 2005. January and February are basically throw away months for studios that have movies that they know won’t make a lot of money, but by releasing them they hopefully can at least make their money back. Those months the studios are busy marketing their contenders for the Oscars in March and have basically given up on any thought of luring in moviegoers the first few months of the year. Occasionally, there is a creamy nugat of cheesy goodness in the movies, but that is usually unintentional. Looking over the horizon, there are a few potentially must see fun movies, most notably, Peter Jackson’s “King Kong” (which no doubt is looking to grab some of the technical Oscars), “Underworld: Evolutions” and Lion’s Gate’s “Hostel”. I’ll keep a lookout and let you know if I find out about any more mindless fun.

This week’s article is a little thin, but I promise I will make it up to you my dear reader. No excuses. Next week I am putting together a special pre announcements look at all of the movies that Hollywood is going to be touting as the best they have been able to offer for 2005. I am sure you will dig it the most and you know I would never steer you wrong.

This Week at your local multiplex: (12/9/2005)

Memoirs of a Geisha (Drama)
Zhang Ziyi, Ken Watanabe, Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, Yuki Kudo, Koji Yakusho
Plot: Based on the bestseller by Arthur Golden, Chiyo, a fisherman’s daughter is sold to a geisha, where, as a household maid, she blossoms into one of Kyoto’s most renowned Geishas.
Buzz: Once a pet project of Steven Spielberg, this movie has been on the tongues of Hollywood executives for the last few years and Sony has high Oscar hopes for this movie. Look to be hearing a lot more about this movie in the months leading up to the Academy Awards.

The Chronicles of Narnia (Fantasy)
Tilda Swinton, James McAvoy, Georgia Henley, Skandar Haynes, Anna Popplewell, William Moseley, Rupert Everett, Ray Winstone, Dawn French, Liam Neeson (voice), Jim Broadbent
Plot: Based on the C.S. Lewis novel, the story of four children that enter the magical world of Narnia through a wardrobe, where they get wrapped up in an epic battle between the evil white witch, Jadis, and the lion king Aslan.
Buzz: A classic series of novels that have been screaming to be made into a series of movies but strangely enough this movie isn’t really exciting anyone. I think is going to be buried under the massive fantasy film, King Kong.


This week on DVD: (12/06/2005)

As always, if you have any questions, or just want a small piece of my wisdom, please drop me a line at DPlace76@yahoo.com, or to peer into some of my ramblings, check out www.livejournal.com/users/bigdpimpin.