The Weigh In 71

Ahhh… the remake. Completely separate from the sequel, film based on a novel, or just the time honored plotline ripoff, the remake is a “reimagining” of a film someone else made. From Gus Van Zandt’s shot for shot remake of the Alfred Hitchcock film Psycho, to Peter Jackson’s updating of the film,
King Kong, Hollywood studios have been getting bolder in their attempt to recycle films they think could be done better. Or well.. at least with a bigger box office this time. It seems that every few weeks there is an announcement from a major studio that is anxious to “reimagine” another classic or not so classic film. Some people argue that remakes for the most part are lazy, unimaginative, and tarnish the original film. Others argue that these films bring otherwise forgotten films back to life for a new generation. Maybe both arguments are true, for good or bad.

Over the next few weeks I wanted to take a look at those remakes, not that the ones that have been released, but the ones that pop up occasionally on rumor sites, movie news site and in official press releases. I wanted to take a look at these films, at least the ones I could find. Before some of them disappear into obscurity. You can make up your mind as to which of the above arguments apply.

Special thanks to www.imdb.com and www.sequelogue.com.


Part One:

1984-(in talks)-attached: Tim Robbins, producer. A remake of the classic John Hurt film based on the George Orwell novel.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea-(in talks)-attached: Sam Raimi, producer. A remake of the 1954 film starring Kirk Douglas and Peter Lorre and the H.G. Wells novel.

39 Steps-(in limbo)-attached: Robert Towne, director. A remake of the 1935 Hitchcock classic.

Adventures in Babysitting (script phase, slated for 2008 release)-attached: Raven Simone, Elizabeth Shue’s character. A remake of the ‘80s film by Chris Columbus.

All of Me-(script)-attached: Wanda Sykes starring as Lilly Tomlin’s character. A remake of the classic comedy starring Steve Martin and Lilly Tomlin.

Back to School-(in development)-MGM, producer. Remade from the Rodney Dangerfield original.

The Bad Seed-(in development)-attached: Warner Brothers, producer. Remade many times, notably with McCauley Caulkin, this version to be the first to stick with the original idea of a little girl as the villain.

Billy Jack-(in limbo)-attached: Danny DeVito’s Jersey films and Tom Laughlin, producer. A remake of the hippie Native-American karate expert that would right the wrongs of the disenfranchised.

The Birds-(in development)-attached: Michael Bay’s production company and Universal Studios, producers. A remake of the Hitchcock classic starring Tippy Hedron.

Black Christmas-(post production, release date 12/25/2006)-attached: Glen Morgan, director; Dimension Pictures, producer; Michelle Trachtenberg and Katie Cassidy to star in the film originally starring Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder. A remake of the 1974 horror film about a group pf sorority girls locked in a house with a psycho killer.

Black Lagoon (Creature from the Black Lagoon)-(post production, release date 12/13/2006)-attached: Breck Eisner, director; Brian Steel, main character. Remake of the 1954 horror classic.

The Blob-(in development, release date 2007)-attached: Carey Hayes, screenwriter. Mathew McConaughey was signed to play the Steve McQueen role but was released after wanting to do Failure to Launch. Big budget remake of the Steve McQueen 50s teenage horror film.

Carousel-(in talks)-attached: Hugh Jackman will play the Gordon McRae character. Fox is currently trying to buy the music rights from Rogers and Hammerstein. Remake of the 1956 musical.

Casino Royale-(post production, release date 11/17/2006)-attached: Martin Campbell, director, Daniel Craig as James Bond. A remake in name and idea only of the Peter Sellers comedy. Both about the beginning of James Bond’s career, the original starring Peter Sellers and Ursula Andress.

Crazies-(in development)-attached: George Romero and Paramount Pictures, producers. A remake of George Romero’s first film about a city that is cordoned off by the military after the outbreak of a deadly virus.

Dambusters-(in talks)-attached: Peter Jackson, producer. A remake of the 1954 film and the novel Enemy Coast Ahead about the true story of the English Air Corps that used “bouncing” bombs to destroy German dams.

Day of the Dead-(post production, release date 2007)-attached: Steve Miner director; Ving Rhames will play a different character from the original Dawn of the Dead, also a remake. A loose remake of the George Romero zombie sequel.

Death Race 3000-(script, release date 2008)-attached: Paul W.S. Anderson, director; Cruise/Wagner, producer. A remake of the Roger Corman B movie classic starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone about a cross country race where racers gathered points by running over people.

The Dirty Dozen-(in talks, release date 2008)-attached: Joel Silver, producer. A remake of the 1967 Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson film.

Easy Rider-(in limbo)-rumor is that the characters played by Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda will be played by younger characters. A remake of the 1969 Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper movie.

Fahrenheit 451-(in production, release date 2007)-attached: Frank Darabont, director. Remake of the 1956 Francois Truffuat film and Ray Bradbury novel about a future where books are banned and firefighters actually set fire to books rather than putting out fires.

Flash Gordon-(in production, release date 2008)-attached: Steven Sommers, writer/director. Hard to say if this is a remake of the 1980 DeLaurentis film or of the 1930’s serials, but it is interesting to note that Steven Sommers is noted for his high action quirky films and both films (the 1980s version and the current one) are both being produced by Universal Studios.

The Fly-(in production)-attached: Todd Lincoln, director. A remake of the Kurt Neumann film and James Clavell story.

Hairspray-(currently filming, release date 9/5/2007)-attached: Adam Schenckman, director, John Travolta as the Divine character from the original John Waters film.

He-Man-(in production)-attached: Adam Rifkin, writer. A live action remake of the ‘80s television cartoon.

Since there are more of these than you can shake your 8 dollars at, next week I will pick up right where I left off and look at the rest of these remakes that the powers that be in Hollywood believe deserve your hard earned dollars. I know I can’t wait.


All the news that’s fit to forget:

Paris Hilton’s newest film is released. Bottom’s Up is the story of a bartender who heads to Hollywood to win a bartending contest. After losing, he meets a socialite (Hilton) and tries to work his way back to the top. If this film does well, studio executives plan on green-lighting more films starring miss Hilton like:
Love of the Ball: A socialite tries to work her way to the top of professional tennis ranks.
Cock Tease: A socialite loses all her money and has to work on a chicken farm to rebuild her empire.
The Little Princess: A bi porn film about a socialite with lots of dirty sex.

Eva Longoria has announced that after Desperate Housewives, she will no longer work in television. Her agent couriered her a copy of her latest film The Sentinel and a picture of David Caruso. She later retracted her statement and has reportedly been admitted to the Betty Ford clinic in order to deal with “nervous issues”. San Antonio Spurs player and fiancé Tony Parker has reportedly called Salma Hayek for advice on how to deal with the situation.

Warner Brothers and DC have announced that they will be releasing all four Christopher Reeves Superman films in a box set with the long awaited “Donner Cut” on the date that Superman Returns is going to be released on DVD, 11/28/2006. Not to be outdone, Marvel Studios has gone back into the archives and are releasing the made for TV Spiderman and Captain America movies. Joe Quesada has hired veteran writer Stan Lee to write an alternate ending for the films to be added to the end of the DVDs called the “Lee Cut”. Quesada is quoted as saying to insiders that he was trying to give fans “more suck for their buck.”


This weekend at your local multiplex (9/22/2006)

All the Kings Men: Drama
Sean Penn, James Gandolfini, Anthony Hopkins, Jude Law, Patricia Clarkson, John Lovett, Mark Ruffallo
Plot: Based on the life of Huey P. Long, All the King’s Men is the story of a corrupt politician’s rise to power and the muckraking journalist that unwittingly becomes an accomplice in his power struggle.
Buzz: Sean Penn in a dramatic role. Usually a pretty good bet.

Jackass 2:Comedy
Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam Margera, Chris Pontius
Plot: Various stunts and attempts at bodily injury.
Buzz: Much more of the same from the original film and the MTV televisions show. This show has its fans and detractors.

Fearless: Action/Martial Arts
Jet Li, Betty Sun, Dong Yong, Nakamura Shidou
Plot: While training to become China’s greatest fighter, he accidental gravely injures his master and is disgraced. He has to look back at his roots and try to gain back his honor.
Buzz: Jet Li’s last epic film and with Hong Kong action director Ronny Yu, this is bound to be a well choreographed entertaining film.

Feast: Horror
Navi Rawat, Krista Allen, Balthazar Getty, Judah Friedlander, Jenny Wade
Plot: Monsters attack an out of the way bar and the patrons are forced to fight to survive.
Buzz: The third “Project Greenlight” film was trashed by pretty much everyone involved and was supposed to never be released. This movie may do well due to anticipation by horror fans and fans of the show.

Flyboys: Drama
James Franco, Martin Henderson, Jean Reno, Jennifer Decker
Plot: The story of the first American regiment of flyers in World War I.
Buzz: (see review)


This weekend on DVD (9/19/2006)

Chucky: The Killer Collection
Stay Alive
Stick It (see review)
The Proposition
Grease (se)
Backdraft (se)
Loverboy
The Chris Rock Show (season 1 and 2)
My Name is Earl (Season 1)
Gilmore Girls (season 6)
The Boris Karloff Collection
Battlestar Galactica 2.5
The Unit (season 1)
The King of Queens (season 6)
Gilmore Girls (season 1-6)
Henry Fonda collection
Inner Sanctum Mysteries collection
Hart to Hart (season 2)
Roar (series)
10th and Wolf
Henry Fonda collection
Everybody Loves Raymond (season 7)
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (season 2)


As always, you can send you hate mail and your loving adoration to DPlace76@yahoo.com. You can check in on my innermost thoughts called http://bigdpimpin.livejournal.com/. Come and keep up with all things Stumblebum at www.myspace.com/stumblebumstudios.