The Weigh in 80

This week in my world:

December normally brings holiday shopping, drunken office Christmas parties, hanging out with the family, and relaxing on the couch after eating enough food to feed an army to watch a little football. In my world though, our family has a little tradition, the Christmas evening movie. Every Christmas we all load up and head over to the nearest theater to get our fill of whatever Christmas cheer we can find on the big screen. This year, throwing his hat in the ring with all of the holiday family fun fare and last minute Oscar hopefuls comes an icon of film. Exactly thirty years after he convinced us he wasn’t no bum from the streets of Philadelphia, the Italian Stallion is back for one final round. Rocky Balboa. I plan on being there, dragging the family (some of them kicking and screaming) to experience the end of an era in cinematic history. The ultimate underdog is finally hanging up his gloves, but not sliding on the baggy shorts (sorry ran out of boxing metaphors). This week it only seemed fitting to take a look back the man that went from the streets of Philly to the top of the world and back again.

Rocky
The two time loser without a future and stuck in a dead end life gets one last chance to gain back his life, dignity, and most importantly his pride. Written by Sylvester Stallone (for which he earned an Oscar), Rocky is much less about a fighter with a second chance than one man’s ability to pull himself out of the depths of mediocrity and prove that he can be someone; to everyone around him and to himself. Sometimes it is not about winning, it is about proving that you are good enough to show up to the party. This film is often imitated but very few can actually come close to the magic of this film.


Rocky II
Strength, determination, and the will to stand up against unbeatable odds and walk away without losing your mind isn’t a fluke and no one can take the accomplishment away from you. In the second installment (the first actually written and directed by Stallone), Rocky has to stand up against Apollo Creed again. This time he has to prove to everyone that he can stand toe to toe with the champion again. He has to take the next step and actually walk away a champion.

Rocky III
Rocky goes from the loveable but dumb lug to a smarter more able business man in the third installment. He is harassed by a brawler of a man named Clubber Lang and is haunted by the reality that the people he trusted have been protecting his championship run by setting him up with ringers. While the rest of the world is convinced that Rocky deserves his place, he has to fight and defeat Clubber Lang to regain his own sense of self.




Rocky IV
The ultimate cold war film, Rocky Balboa watches as his friend and partner, Apollo Creed is beaten to death by a menacingly powerful Russian boxer. He is bigger than anything the boxing world has ever seen. This film is full of us vs. them overtones and Rocky is just the man to bring the mad Russian and metaphorically the Russian Empire to its knees.

Rocky V
With the help of Uncle Paulie’s unique business acumen and Rocky’s near brain damage from fighting, the Balboas are back on the streets of Philadelphia just trying to make ends meet. When Rocky is given the chance to train an up-and-coming fighter, he takes it. His apprentice decides that he no longer needs the help of a washed up old has been and Rocky Balboa has to teach him that there is more to being a champion than just being able to fight.

This holiday season, take your friends and family out to your local theater and remember the immortal words of Mickey Goldsmill: “Women weaken legs”. I mean “You’re gonna eat lightening and crap thunder”. No that’s not it either. Oh hell just go see the damn thing.


All the news that is fit to forget (real news, not so real commentary):

Britney Spears’ soon to be ex-husband, Kevin Federline is threatening to write a tell-all book unless she agrees to give him a large divorce settlement. Britney’s press agent released a statement reminding everyone that both parties involved were illiterate rednecks that were too high to remember that they were even married. She did remind everyone that there may still be a sex tape out there, so they should all still pay attention to the antics of her client.

A group of frat boys lost their much publicized lawsuit against Sacha Baron Cohen’s film Borat, for their part in the film. The judge dismissed the case when one of the frat boys showed up to the trial drunk and asked the stenographer to take off her top while trying to sexually molest the bailiff.

In light of the recent photos and multiple pictures of the pair partying together, Paris Hilton came out and defended Britney Spears’ parenting skills. After hearing the news, Fox executives are frantically trying to get both women together for a reality television special tentatively entitled “How to raise your child on two Martinis a night”.


This weekend at your local multiplex (12/15/2006)

Charlotte’s Web: family
Dakota Fanning (voices) Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, Robert Redford, Steve Buscemi, Cedric the Entertainer
Plot: Based on the book by E.B. White; Wilbur, a pig, meets a wonderful spider who teaches him about the world.
Buzz: This is being marketed as a family friendly holiday film for kids of all ages. Am I the only person that remembers what happens at the end of this thing? Who wants to sit through a movie when a theater full of three year olds finally learn about death from a cute little spider.

Eragon: Action
Jeremy Irons, Robert Carlyle, Djimon Hounsou, Sienna Guillory, Ed Speelers
Plot: A young farmer in a medieval setting learns that he is part of a long line of Dragonriders and he may be the only person that can say the kingdom.
Buzz: The trailers are a special effects fest, and one can only hope they are unfinished. Sci-fi movies do tend to do pretty well, so who knows.

The Pursuit of Happyness: Drama
Will Smith, Thandie Newton, Jaden Smith
Plot: Based on the true story of a man who gave up everything in order to give himself and his son a better life.
Buzz: (see review next week)


This week on DVD(12/12/2006)

Talladega Nights
World Trade Center
The Devil Wears Prada
Barnyard
Material Girls
The Chronicles of Narnia Box Set
Bugsy (se)
The Doors (se)
Stacked (series)
The Ultimate James Bond Collection
The Fox and the Hound 2
Full House (season 5)
The Andy Griffith Show (final season)
Gomer Pyle (season 1)
Law and Order: Criminal Intent (season 2)
Mozart and the Whale
 

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