The Weigh in 85

For my edition of The Weigh in this week, I’m simply going to take Dana’s tried and true formula and plug in my own half-assed opinions. One of the many ways I pass the time at my job is whipping out the good ‘ole Nintendo Game Boy and having it take me away to its dot-matrixed universe. I’m not talking about that new fancy DS (although I do have one), I’ve found that the most fun games to play are some of the first ones to be released for the Game Boy almost two decades ago. As great as the DS is, it only plays DS and Game Boy Advance games, so to play the old green and dark green games I have to whip out the Game Boy Advance SP. Here is a short list of games that I continually go back to despite having the latest and greatest portable system at my disposal.


1. The Super Mario Land series
Ever since that little bastard started pounding his head into bricks and stomping on mushroom people, I’ve been a Mario fanatic. This series that was only released on the Game Boy systems is actually better in several ways to the more familiar series most people know from the NES. For instance, in
Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins, one of the power-ups is a carrot that gives you bunny ears that allow you to fly. I couldn’t make this stuff up folks. Nintendo did a weird thing with this series. The third game was Warioland: Super Mario Land 3, and basically swapped Mario with Wario and made the controls suckier, however the game still rules. Wario took over the series after that and so far there have been four Wario games for the Game Boy. Anyway, basically why these games are so much fun for me is simple: nostalgic value, seriously messed up visuals, weird and catchy music, and just great game play.

2. Kid Dracula
This little oddity stars Dracula. As a kid. Well, I thought it was clever. This game is a basic side-scrolling platformer but what I love about it are the villains. On your journeys you’ll battle retarded Frankenstein monsters, Igor-looking guys with massive brain tumors, and the scariest owls I’ve ever encountered.

3. Kirby’s Dream Land
The one that started it all folks. This was the very first Kirby game ever released for any platform, at it still holds up today as one of the most addictive video games since Tetris. You’ve seen Kirby, he’s that little round thing that looks like a marshmallow. My favorite aspect of this game is that it lets you swallow enemies, and then you can spit those enemies at other enemies. Japan is not short of geniuses.

4. Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters
Kid Icarus originally found his fame on the NES but I like this Game Boy game better, it’s dumbed down for little kids so it’s easier to play and therefore MORE FUN!! This game also has it’s share of nightmare enemies that include: flying squids with giant eyeballs, snakes that rain from baskets in the sky, blobs of goo with spikes in them, and mutated Muppet-looking reptile thingies. If you don’t think this game sounds fun from that description, then I give up.


Now then, on with the serious business. The only thing I fought particularly interesting to report as news is that Universal is making a third Mummy movie. What makes this announcement odd to me is that they’re trying to get Rob Cohen to direct it. Now, this is the guy that made Stealth, XXX, The Fast and the Furious, Daylight, and The Skulls. Each and every one of those films is bad, and not in the fun Plan 9 From Outer Space bad, but bad as in just boring, endless and stupid. So I guess the only real news to this story is that The Mummy 3 will suck. Back to you in the studio.


This weekend at your local multiplex (1/12/07)

Alpha Dog
Arthur and the Invisibles
Primeval
Stomp the Yard

This week on DVD

Employee of the Month
Gridiron Gang
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning