The Weigh in 91

This week in my world:

This week I am a little pissed off and need to spew a little venom someplace. So sit back and enjoy my little rant. If you have any opinions on the matter below and wanna throw down as they say, feel free to do so at: DPlace76@yahoo.com.

It was announced earlier today (3/13/2007) that numerous studios are bidding for the chance to produce Gerard Butler in a remake of the cult classic film Escape From New York. Anyone who reads my column is probably aware of my distaste for most remakes and that my belief that the term “re imagining” usually equates to a lack of any kind of imagination by the studio involved. Escape From New York is a great film made in the heyday of John Carpenter’s career and in my mind has earned its rightful place in cult film heaven next to films like The Re-Animator, Dead Alive, and Near Dark, two of which are rumored to be run through the remake grinder. You can imagine that I wasn’t thrilled by the news that Escape From New York was being added to this list, and I’ll talk more about that later, but the manner in which it was announced brings up something about the movie industry that has always kind of stuck in my craw a bit.

Warning: Naughty language ahead…

This quote from Variety online is what spurred this week’s article. Referencing the above news in Variety today, “Several studios are battling for the pic, mostly because the $70 million launch of ‘300’ signaled the arrival of an emerging action star in Butler”.

Dumb bastards.

Less than 48 hours after the announcement of a commercially successful film released without a big name star in July or August, studios are already looking to spread crap all over what should be good news for the industry. 300 was a good movie that was unique to other films that have been released lately and was something people wanted to see. An oddity in an industry where the amount of money you make is supposed to be directly proportional to the name of the big star, the month it is released, or how many billboards you buy. I get the distinct feeling that those “in the know” completely missed any kind of point from the first weekend box office success of this movie. This film made money without a big name attached above the title, in March no less. Studios are fighting each other to turn a classic cult flick into a vehicle for an actor, who until now, was in a shitty Beowulf adaptation, Dracula 2000, and Tomb Raider 2. But it has to make money right? I mean he was in 300 (sarcasm folks). Jesus Christ on a cracker. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against Gerard Butler at all. I really enjoyed him in this flick and I think that he could turn into a pretty cool action star. It seems ironic to me that these studios are fighting to produce a film that is completely unoriginal with a relatively unknown actor because the film the relatively unknown actor was in made money for being unique and different. Absolutely retarded.

48 hours. Hollywood studios have a tendency to jump on anything that is hot even for a few seconds. This is evidenced by the slew of sequels that are becoming more and more prevalent. It is so bad that most movie news sites joke about the upcoming news of a sequel immediately after a film is #1 at the box office. It seems that movie studios came across a fairly unique problem with this film. 300 II is probably out of the question (although nowadays, it is really hard to tell), so I suppose this was the answer. If this movie did well then maybe anyone attached to it can make money too. I just can’t wrap my mind around why anyone thought a cult icon was the best way to do this. I of course have a problem with the remake, regardless of who’s playing the iconic cult badass. At this point I really can’t see why you would try to sell fans on a different actor playing the character; and two years down the road when this film hits theaters, I can’t see the box office success of 300 really affecting the average moviegoer decision to see it. Maybe Butler would be better off with a well written thriller or action franchise to build on. I really can’t see how this role is a win for anyone. Regardless of how this all turns out, the sad fact is that the studios will most assuredly find some completely backwards lesson to learn from all of this.

This weekend at your local multiplex (3/16/2007)

Dead Silence: Horror
Donnie Wahlberg, Amber Valletta, Ryan Kwanten, Michael Fairman
Plot: A newlywed couple movie to a small town to start their new life when one of them is brutally murdered. The husband comes back to the town for the funeral and learns that the town has a dark secret. When the husband becomes the prime suspect, he has to get to the bottom of the town’s secret.
Buzz: The plot sounds pretty basic and snoozworthy, but there seems to be a mysterious and creepy ventriloquist dummy in the trailer. Dummy’s are creepy right? At least they were in the hundreds of Dummy killer movies/tv shows/books that have been put together in the past few decades.

Premonition: Drama/Science Fiction
Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon, Jeff Galpin, Nia Long, Amber Valletta, Mark Famigletti
Plot: A housewife’s husband dies in a car accident and when she wakes up the next day he is alive, she soon realizes that she is living her days out of order and having premonitions of the future.
Buzz: Sandra Bullock seems to be on a strange sci-fi romance kick lately. I was on board with The Lake House but I am not sure I can follow this one.

I Think I Love My Wife: Romantic Comedy
Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Gina Torres, Steve Buscemi
Plot: A married man whose life has definitely settled into a rut is torn between his wife and an attractive younger woman who is interested in him.
Buzz: I am not really sure if this film could actually be more generic. But hey, it has Chris Rock and he’s never done a bad movie. Right? Right?

This week on DVD (3/13/2007)

Casino Royale
The Holiday
Harsh Times
Ghost (se)
Shortbus
Bosom Buddies (season 1)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (season 5)
Without a Trace (season 2)
Sublime: Unrated
Bloody Reunion
Baby Looney Tunes (vol3)
I Love Lucy (season 7-9)
 

As always, you can send me your loving adoration and hate mail to DPlace76@yahoo.com. You can read about my random musings at http://bigdpimpin.livejournal.com/ and you can read about all of the comings and goings of the Stumblebum crew at www.myspace.com/stumblebumstudios.