#94

This week in my world:

Two years ago this week I wrote my first article for the website. I really had no idea where the article was going, what this article would turn into, or even how long I would be doing this. After 93 articles The Weigh In has taken a few twists and turns and if you’ve been reading for a while or have read through the archives, it is pretty obvious that some weeks I really had no idea what in the world I was doing. On the 2 year anniversary of this article I figured I would reprint a few here that show the (ahem) natural progression of the article.

Article #1

The birth of a legend

The stumblebum website 2.0 is officially up and running and in this corner of our little world you will find my weekly rambling. It’ll feature thought provoking articles that will call you to action, heartfelt stories that will bring you to tears, or a little anecdote or two that may curl up the side of your mouth for a few seconds. In actuality though this is just my little attempt to help you get through 15 minutes of your workday once a week. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In the beginning…

Johnny Carson once told me in a dream (he talks to me on a regular basis), that in order to connect with your audience, they must feel comfortable with you. Well, I figure the best way for you (my beloved audience) to be comfortable with me (your honorable host), is to tell you a little about myself.

So, my first article will be an introduction to all things me, nothing too exciting or revealing of course. Those will come to you loyal enough and persistent enough to want to know the truth, the way, and the light.

If the internet has taught me anything about personal interaction it’s that a forwarded email from 50 different people answering random questions is the best way to find out everything you want to know about the people you never knew you knew, if you know what I mean. Now without further ado, this is me:

1. First Name: Dana
2. Were you named after anyone? My father
3. Do you wish on stars?Nope, a little too practical
4. When did you last cry?I never cry, too manly for that
5. Do you like your handwriting? yeah
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Roast Beef
7. What is your birth date? 01/14/1976
8. What is your most embarrassing CDthat everyone makes fun of you because you have the soundtrack to: Krull score
9. Would you be friends with you? I am, It’s our ability to laugh at our own jokes that make us click
10. Are you a daredevil?Only with my Xbox
11. Favorite Singer? Ben Folds
12. Do looks matter?Yes, a man can’t live on conversation alone
13. How do you release anger? I chain smoke
14. Where is your second home? Texas City
15. Do you trust others easily? The first time, yes
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My transformers; Optimus Prime, Grimlock…
17. What class in high school do you think was totally
useless? Chemistry
18. Do you have a journal? Yeah, www.livejournal.com/users/bigdpimpin
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, not at all (wink wink, nudge nudge)
20. What are your nicknames? Teddy Bear, Big D, Pooh Bear, Uncle Dana (my favorite by the way)
21. Would you bungee jump?Never really wanted to, always wanted to skydive though
22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yeah
23. Do you think that you are strong?Yes
24. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Blue Bell cookies and cream
25. Shoe size? 13

See, incredibly informative. I’d never steer you wrong. It included the type of nuts and bolts, deep under the membrane information of a person that will compel you to let them into your lives, and maybe even allow them to borrower your couch if they ever show up at your house at three in the morning, on the last night of a week-long drinking binge, banging on your door begging for a place to sleep. Well, at least that’s been my experience. And, as you all will find out in the future, I am pretty much always right. Except when I’m wrong of course.

Finally, being the renaissance man that I am, there will be an interactive portion to this article that will wow and amaze you, keep you glued to your seat, and move you to the rafters. Wait for it…
My email address: DPlace76@yahoo.com.

If any time you are moved to tears, pee your pants, or just plain want to gain access to the outside world, drop me a line. As long as there isn’t a string of obscenities or unlimited attached porn pop-ups attached, I’ll try to make sure your burning desire for knowledge is fulfilled. And you know I’d never steer you wrong.

Article #7: I really have no idea what this is about. You can read articles 8, 9 and 10 to follow the rest of this little random adventure.

Well, boys and girls it’s time for another installment of your favorite weekly column, “the weigh in.” It seems I ruffled a few feathers with “the powers that be”, namely the MPAA over my little light hearted joke. It appears that they have a giant database that they run everyone’s Internet articles through and the words, “Scottish”, “sheep” and “burn” are flagged. These flagged articles are then read by a large burly black man with no sense of humor and a lot of frequent flyer miles. I know this because the same large burly black man monologued all this to me while he ransacked my apartment, looking for Scottish paraphernalia and any DVDs I might have hidden.

The MPAA is apparently a much stronger organization than you might imagine. Other than rate movies and make commercials about how bad illegal downloading is for America, they have a much larger purpose. To control the population of the world by manipulating the mind of everyone between the ages of 18 and 49 through implanted images in big budget summer movies. Apparently the technology does not have the capacity to reach people younger or older than this range, but being wedged in a seat on a private jet flying to an unknown destination next to a large black man, asking questions didn’t seem to be the best idea.

They have Congressmen, judges, and even some heads of state in their pockets. They set up a few private screenings and soon enough, laws are being passed, judgments are being rendered, and countries are even being overthrown, countries that don’t even allow their citizens the right to view American films that is. The black man seemed very proud of this and I think the reason he had no problem telling me all this was, well, he doesn’t expect me to ever see another living person.

That brings me to now. I am trapped in a little shack on the tram tour ride at Universal Studios. That’s right. The one next to Jaws, in the middle of the pond. I am writing this in my own blood, with the sharp edges of my blockbuster card, (which they shredded right in front of me), all the while trying to teach a rat how to type and to use the Internet. You can’t imagine the frustration of trying to teach a rat Windows XP through pantomime. They have kept me alive for the past few days on unbuttered popcorn and watered down Mr. Pibb, but I don’t know how much longer this can last. I feel that I only have a few more days in me. I pray that my only friend, (who seems to be getting a little impatient with my teachings) will be able to translate these scrawlings into an email to my editor in time to get me out of here before I disappear. Regardless of whether I make it out of here dead or alive just spread the word. Scream it to the highest rafters. Call these evil people out for who they are, fight the power. Never let the revolution die. Excelsior!!!!!
As always feel free to email me at DPlace76@yahoo.com. If I get out of this mess, I get back to you.

Article #30: My first researched piece. Check out articles 31 and 32 for the rest of the piece.

A regular guy’s look at the state of the movie industry, part one of three…

A few weeks ago Disney’s first post Pixar computer animated movie
Chicken Little pulled into theaters. Being a Disney CG movie, this movie is bound to do pretty well because, with few exceptions, these movies always bring in a nice chunk of change for the mouse house. With the doom and gloom that movie studios have been spreading all over the internet since the first few weeks of the summer, it seems only fitting that this year one of it’s biggest studios will put out a blockbuster film based on a children’s story about a chicken that runs around claiming the sky is falling after having something fall on it’s head.

If you have spent any time since mid summer on any movie websites (my favorites being www.Joblow.com, www.CHUD.com, and www.comingsoon.net), the biggest news coming out of Hollywood isn’t the Oscar caliber lineup of movies coming out at the end of the year or the Summer Blockbusters that are currently in production. No, movie studios are kicking into panic mode while staring at the prospect that they will be losing money this year. Some out of Hollywood are prognosticating that the sky is falling and we may be looking at the end of the movie theater as we know it.

There are plenty of excuses and finger pointing as to why this is happening. Studios blame the skyrocketing cost of filmmaking, dvd sales, cable television, the internet, video rental by mail, and on demand video, while movie goers just want to know why they are supposed to pay eight to ten dollars to sit through movies like The Island and Stealth when they can sit at home and complain about how much they suck. This week we will look at moviegoers and entertainment website writer’s rationale for the drop in revenue.

The numbers:

According to www.boxofficemojo.com, as of the 13th of November, box office sales have been down 7.9% compared to last year. In fact, you would have to go back to 2001 to see a year where the studios have made less money year to date. In every year since 2001, they have seen a steady profit. So, I’ll use that time span as a benchmark.

Are people spending less money at the theaters?
(not adjusted for ticket prices or inflation) (courtesy of www.imdb.com)
Total gross sales: Here are the gross sales of the top ten movies for the last five years:
2005: $2.10b (one grossing over $300m four grossing over $200m)
2004: $2.76b (three grossing over $300m, three grossing over $200m)
2003: $2.36b (three grossing over $300m, two grossing over $200m)
2002: $2.54b (three grossing over $300m, four grossing over $200m)
2001: $2.34b (two grossing over $300m, four grossing over 4200m)

As you can see, there has been a drop in the gross earning of this year’s and for the first time in the last five years, there was only one $300 million movie. Is there any kind of discernable reason for this?

Whether or not a movie is good is fairly subjective and if you subscribe to the idea that a good movie will make a lot of money, that unfortunately is not the case. Most of the best movies each year are barely shown at your local multiplex, and if they are, then most of them don’t make “Summer movie” numbers and barely make a blip on the gross receipts. In my opinion, a fair indicator of whether or not the movies that affect the bottom line are getting better or worse is to look at those that make a bigger dent in Hollywood’s gross receipts. Rottentomatoes is a large database of reviews where the average moviegoer can give a yeah or nay on a scale of 1 to 100 and is probably the closest we can get to quantifying whether or not these large Summer movies are getting better or worse, which would surely affect Hollywood’s bottom line.

Average theatergoer rating of the top ten movies of 2001-2005 as found on Rottentomatoes.
2005: 82, 72, 74, 83, 83, 54, 61, 68, 30, 25=63.2%
2004: 88, 93, 51, 39, 97, 89, 46, 81, 42, 56=68.2%
2003: 95, 98, 79, 75, 51, 87, 84, 72, 75, 24=74%
2002: 90, 98, 65, 82, 77, 76, 56, 36, 77, 87=73.5%
2001: 78, 93, 88, 95, 49, 46, 25, 80, 51, 45=65%

Looking at the numbers above compared to the gross receipts of the same year (generally), there seems to be a direct correlation between the average movie goers opinions on these movies compared to the total amount of money the films have made each year. That isn’t to say that some incredibly bad movies didn’t make a lot of money. It seems in the last few years, those movies were seemed to be weighted by movies people really liked, pushing the gross sales higher. Please note that this year is the only year in the last five that did not have a single movie that rated higher than an 83, while most years had at least three films rated over 85. So, it seems to me that one of the reasons this years movie receipts fell flat could be the lack of great movies to bring up the average of the mediocre ones. So it seems that their may be a point to the fans and entertainment magazine writers’ argument.

In an attempt to weigh both sides of this issue, next week, I am going to take a look at the movie studios explanation of the slump in movie attendance and overall receipts, and whether this is a fluke or if the sky is really falling. We will end this three part article with a look at the studios attempt to make sure this doesn’t happen next year, and whether, in my opinion, they are on the right track. Or just as importantly, whether or not it really matters.

These are just a few of my favorite articles and I hope if you are relatively new to the site you will take some time to go back and read some of the old stuff (here and the other articles). I actually had a blast reading through some of my old articles and can definitely see a sort of refining and structuring. Some good, some bad I suppose. Thanks for indulging me this little look back at the past and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I hope to see you right back here next week.

This weekend at your local multiplex (4/6/2007)

Grindhouse (Death Proof/Planet Terror): Horror/Action
Kurt Russell, Freddy Rodriguez, Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin, Zoe Bell, Rosario Dawson, Jeff Fahey, Bruce Willis
Plot: Two films, with faux trailers in between, in the vein of the old Grindhouse films of the late 70s. One, a zombie flick directed by Robert Rodriguez, and the other a car race and revenge flick directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Buzz: Rodriguez and Tarantino together doing fanboy movie stuff. Could life get any better? Go see this movie. Fanboy movies made by fanboys. Totally awesome.

Are We Done Yet?: Comedy/Family
Ice Cube, Nia Long, Thomas Hayden Church
Plot: The sequel to Are We There Yet?, has Ice Cube and Nia Long married and looking a house to settle down in.
Buzz: This movie looks more and more like a rip off of The Money Pit. My gut says stay home and rent the original.

This week on DVD (4/10/2007)

Bobby
Major League (se)
The Mel Gibson Collection
Payback (director’s cut)
Succubus: Hellbent
The Batman (season 3)
Teen Titans (season 3)
Shanghai Surprise
The Untouchables (season 1/volume 1)

As always, you can send me your loving adoration and hate mail to DPlace76@yahoo.com. You can read about my random musings at http://bigdpimpin.livejournal.com/ and you can read about all of the comings and goings of the Stumblebum crew at www.myspace.com/stumblebumstudios.