| Comic Review | Dana Place |
Ares #1 (of 5)
Writer: Mike Oeming
Penciler: Travel Foreman
Inker: Derek Fridolfs
Colors: Len O’Grady
Plot:
Ares, God of War, falls out of favor with Zeus, and in order
to redeem himself, he declares war on Zues’ brother Hades.
When he comes back victorious, he is kicked off of Mount
Olympus and decides to live as a human. The story picks up
in present day as Ares has a son, whom he teaches how to be
just like him. When Hermes shows up to tell him that Mount
Olympus has fallen, and he is needed to come back to his
family, he refuses and his son is kidnapped.
Review: I have never read anything that made me want
to violently beat someone over the head, but this book may
push me over the edge. I have read some of the most useless,
brain scrambling bad comics since I started doing these
reviews, but ARES makes me want to pull all of the
hair out of my head and send the bloody mess to Mike Oeming
in a ticking box. This comic seems inspired by a fifth grade
book on Greek mythology and a drunken “Merchant Ivory
Marathon”. The dialog made my eyes bleed and the plot (or
the half baked ideas that strung this story together) gave
me arthritis. The God of War is a handyman who teaches his
son how to be angry, hates women, and shaves his head to go
on a rampage after the police find out that he and his
missing son don’t have a social security number, or
something like that. At least that is all I could make out
before the hysterical blindness set in. On a positive note,
at least I am going to wake up screaming in the middle of
the night in a pool of my own urine after experiencing the
bad dreams Ares is sure to give me. Wait. Oh crap.
Special thanks go out to Jeremy Shorr, owner of
Titan Comics for allowing us to use his advance
preview books for review purposes.
