Running With Scissors

Annette Bening
Joseph Cross
Brian Cox
Alec Baldwin
Joseph Fiennes
Gwyneth Paltrow
Evan Rachel Wood

Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Running With Scissors is the true life memoir of Augusten Burroughs. Augusten grew up with a mother who believed herself destined for fame as a world class poet and a father who drank himself into oblivion. When his mother loses her mind, Augusten is forced to live with a strange psychologist and his quirky family.

Before you continue with this review, take a look at the cast listed above. Annette Bening, Brian Cox, Alec Baldwin, the list goes on and on. Your mouth should be watering in anticipation for a great film. Consider this review a warning. Run away, run away as fast as you can. It is all a trick, a hoax, a scam, or maybe even an evil plot by a sadistic little narcissist. Do not spend your $8 on this film. While the acting is top notch and everything you could hope for from such an a-list cast; it is not enough to save this film, which will have you wishing the price of admission came with a pair of scissors (for the lobotomy) and ace bandages for your eyes. These actors made the most of a film that elicited two hours of awkward laughter, uncomfortable silence, and plenty of feet staring. This is the type of film that should move an audience to emotion, to allow us to examine ourselves and allow us to think about the world a little differently, if only for a little while. Unfortunately, from almost the very beginning of the film, the only question we are forced to ask ourselves is, “who cares?” Sitting through this film is comparable to sitting with a group of strangers and being asked to watch home movies of someone whose life is just as dull as yours, complete with absolutely mundane moments that only those who participated in them could enjoy. Would you want to watch someone else’s vacation slides complete with bad jokes, punctuated with highlights of grandpa crapping himself? Sure the filmmaker may think it is funny, but to most people it is just sad.

We all have families that we find a little quirky who help to mold our slightly skewed view of the world, and while some of the stories may be quirky and a nice little anecdote at a dinner party, none of us want a two hour film made about them. Our family is odd in chunks, especially if there is a point or an amusing punch line that makes it worth our audience’s time. This film does not even offer any of that. No moral, no answer, not even a chuckle or two to trick us into believing that we haven’t just wasted two hours staring at the floor.


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